A Dragons Egg

“Oink oink!” grunted the hungry pigs as I filled their trough with last night’s leftovers. They plunged their fat heads into the soggy spaghetti bolognaise as I turned to stop myself from being sick. “Next stop the cows,” spoke aloud. With a sigh of dread, I hopped over the gate and began milking the six feet black and white beasts. “M-u-m I’m h-o-m-e,” I shouted upstairs. No answer. “Mum”, I repeated, still no answer. My face turned red in anger and it felt like steam blew out of my nostrils. “Mum!” I screamed as loud as possible. “What”, my mum replied, finally hearing me. My tonsils throbbed so I climbed up the stairs instead of shouting and peered into my Sister Lilly’s bedroom, she was lying there with a thermometer dangling from her mouth and she was plastered in red spots.

“Ha, ha, ha, ha,” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Lilly shot back a mean look and Mum gave me a lecture on how I should care for my Sister instead of hating her. “You’ll have to do the Chickens today John”, ordered my Mother. My name is John and Lilly is my very, very, very annoying Sister. “But I hate Chickens,” I protested, “their scrawny crooked legs, scagged feathers, and their beady eyes, not to mention their gimpy, dorky head.” My mum gave me a stern look and handed me the chicken feed. I headed out the door and the country smell of cow dung hit me like a brick wall, the sun peeped out of the clouds and blistered down on my angry face. In the distance, I heard the sound that made my hair stand on end and made me shudder all over. You see when I was young five chickens chased and pecked me all the way around the cows’ field, the pests. Now the sound became clearer and closer, it went like this: – Buck-Buck-Buck-Buck-Buckok!, I cringed and shivered as the noise approached closer and closer and closer and closer until… “Yuck, oh, Yuck!, Chicken poop eeew!” I wailed. I glanced up, a circle of chickens surrounded me, one of them squawked and the rest of them charged towards me and began pecking “AARRRGHH!” I bellowed as I impersonated Superman flying into the chicken shed.

I dumped the chicken feed in a pile on the floor and darted out dodging and jumping any obstacles in my way, including those pesky chickens. I stopped to catch my breath, I panted like a thirsty dog and gave a mean stare to the chickens who had spread themselves in a line as if to guard their territory. Despicable feathery fluff-buckets they all are I thought to myself. I climbed to my hands and knees when I spotted, “WOW! Amazing, brilliant,” I cried aloud, it was a huge egg almost as big as the chickens. I stared at it in pure disbelief, I was baffled, well I thought to myself, forget double yolks, then a sly grin spread across my face, “well it’s pretty solid maybe the chickens can hatch it by sitting on it,” I decided, I threw the gigantic egg directly at the centre chicken, it caused panic among the flock, they flapped their wings and squawked high pitched screeches and all I could do was laugh. Suddenly a silence fell over the flock and they advanced, gradually picking up the pace. I backed off easy at first but in the end, I yelled “RETREAT,” and scarpered all the way home.

“COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!” screeched the cockerel. “Damn cockerel waking me up at six each morning, I wish I had a shotgun, I’d blow his head off,” I muttered and I moaned about life all the way down to the kitchen until, “Ummm!, Pop-Tarts, where have you been all my life.” I took a bite but then my Mum burst in to spoil the moment. “No time for that those chickens need feeding,” she told me, I carried on munching until “NOW!” startled I spilled my breakfast all over the floor. My mother growled and I knew that it was time for me to depart. “Hello! chickens,” I cried. I couldn’t hear the slightest of sounds and I was right next to the pen, they must be making a battle plan. I decided to poke my head through the door. Nothing, except, the super egg had hatched, weird I thought. I stepped inside and to my horror, a two-foot-long dragon burped and chicken feathers were dispersed from his mouth, I gulped and fainted.

When I finally woke up I was greeted by the unpleasant smell of dragon’s breath and slobber. I pushed him aside and he hung his head low and said: “please don’t hurt me, sorry about the chickens I was a bit peckish ha, ha!” Once again I collapsed in a heap on the ground and was awakened by the same foul smell. “How-How-How- Wha-What-What,” I stuttered, “that’s quite a long name you have there, my names Herbert the dragon, say I do hope I’m not intruding but do you have a cage I could possibly stay in you see it’s rather nippy out yer.” I was caught in some funny kind of trance and obeyed his every command, my eyes are ablaze like a demon. As I reached my bedroom I had finally calmed down, I gripped the red scaly dragon firmly around the waist as he chatted along. I already realized he had a bad case of verbal diarrhea. “Oh no,” I said sarcastically “there’s not a spare cage,” both of us stared at the interesting array of different species of reptiles. Herbert began to lick his lips “which ones my supper,” questioned Herbie. “None,” I replied, “You’ll be sleeping in my sock drawer.” “What are you crazy, the smell will overcome me, I’ll suffocate, I’ll … SLAM! the drawer slammed shut and at last Herbie shut up.

“John, John,” cried my mother awaking me “it’s nine am, the dopey cockerel overslept.”

“No, I think you’ll find Herbie ate him,” I replied.

“WHAT!” she screamed.

“Oh! Uh nothing,” I said hoping she wouldn’t start asking questions about what I’d said.

“Listen! you’ll have to do your breakfast yourself and don’t forget those chickens, right!” “Gulp” “uh yeah sure.” I rose from my bed and opened my drawer “burp”, “oh yuck, dragons breath,” the foul aroma filled the room, “well it’s not me it’s your socks.”

“My socks, where are they?” I asked.

“Dragons got to eat kiddo.”

“Why I ought to,” I threatened, but the dragon put on those puppy eyes so I threw him on the bed and took the lid off my prize possession, my Chameleon, Bob, he was about three feet long but his cage was a massive ten-foot longer. I placed him on my bed next to Herbie and turned back round to smooth out the sawdust on the bottom of Bob’s cage but then Herbie pulled the final straw, as I turned back round to see Bob’s legs disappear into Herbie’s open mouth, my face was so mean-looking now the spots would jump off any leopard. Herbie stared up at me and said “you know if you pull that face you might get stuck like it,” I growled and started strangling Herbie, but suddenly he became three times the size that he was before, he was now eight feet long and weighed a ton, I dropped him in the cage, he struggled for breath. I gave him one last stern look and padlocked him inside and left to do my daily chores.

“ARRRGHH!” I shouted, my tonsils on fire, my heart pounding like a drum. Herbie had exploded out of his cage, gobbled up all the lizards, and was now fifteen feet long. “GET OUT N-O-W!” I bellowed and cried at the red lump of lard. “But where can I go, what can I do, what can I eat?” Herbie fired the questions at me like a machine gun until he finally ceased. I offered him the garden shed. ” I have no choice,” answered Herbie weeping as he waddled outside. I met Herbie five minutes later; he’d just managed to squeeze his obese figure through the door. Now he led there with a face as if he’d lost a pound and found a penny. I hadn’t had the chance to talk man-to-man, well boy-to-dragon so I accepted this opportunity to do so. “Uh, so Herbie where do you come from?”

“China,” he replied, “and your parents are where?”

“Southern Hemisphere I suppose, that’s our targeted destination but I must have been dropped from my mum’s pouch during the flight.”

“Hey wait a minute, how do you know this if you were an egg?”

“Read it in your book on top of Bob the Iguanas cage.”

“Oh come on you can’t believe a kiddies book, they’re most probably looking for you right now.” Trying to soothe Herby’s sorrows was very hard, so in the end, the only solution was to invite Herbie into the guestroom. “Thank you, thank you,” Herbie danced joyfully around the garden with his red scaly tail wagging, as I led him to his room. “Now listen Herbie my Mother, Sister, and I have to make a short journey to the pharmacy and Gran’s so go to sleep, be good, and please don’t grow.” I turned out of the light and worriedly walked to the car.

We returned about ten PM that night to see Herbie’s head poked out to the chimney, his four legs through the downstairs windows, his tail through the back door and now he had wings that shattered either side of the roof. I glanced around to see my Mother and Sister had now fainted and were sprawled out on the floor. Suddenly a spectacular sight I was glad to see, Herbie’s family had parked themselves in our back yard. The biggest one spoke first, “thanks for looking after my son,” and with that, they floated up, up and away like a shower of fairy dust reformed our decapitated house. “Thanks” boomed Herbie, my pleasure I thought. I turned to my Mum and Sister who were in a daze. “Hows about some cakes and cocoa,” I suggested, then disaster, a gigantic egg landed on the doorstep.