A Piece of Literature–Lost Love

I love you I miss you. When I close my eyes I can still picture Your face Your smile Your voice I can still picture you I don’t know why I love you. The thought of you still brings a smile on my face. Though u r many miles away from me, but still I don’t know why I can’t help but think of you. All I wish for is your happiness. I pray for your well being. And I hope the smile that made me fall for you never leaves your face. I have no idea how I fell for you. You are so close to my heart. And I don’t even know why. My heart chose you. You are special.

You are the one person in my life who I would choose above the rest. But you don’t know how important you are to me. What I would give to see you. How many tears my eyes have shed missing you. How many nights I have cried myself to sleep just thinking of you. How whenever you got hurt it was almost as if I could feel it a thousand times intensified. How whenever I see your picture my heart melts a little & all i wanna do is just look at it. How I am crying a little right now just thinking of you. Most of all you don’t know that I love you & probably you never will.

Absence makes the heart go fonder. And I am, fond of you. I don’t live in a dream world. I don’t expect myself to have a fairy tale. I mean c’mon let’s be realistic. I have no chance with you. When you moved you took a part of my heart with you. And I want it back. I try so hard not to love you, not to worry about you, not to think of you, but somehow you crawl your way back into my heart. You are the one person in my life of whom my heart cannot let go of. And the funny thing is that I don’t even know how you became this important to me. I don’t know how.

I never thought that a girl like me would ever fall for a guy like you. But somehow I did. I have never felt the way for anyone like I felt for you. I try to forget you. But it’s just too hard. Sometimes I miss him, I miss him so much. I find comfort in the thoughts of him with me comforting me, though I know it will only be possible in my dreams. When I am sad, I think of him. I don’t know why but he is very special for me. I don’t know what makes him special. He just has a power over my heart. I can’t stop thinking about him. He is beautiful. Though he is not perfect but in my eyes he is.

He is the most beautiful thing in this world & deserves all the happiness in this world. I pray for him, I have always done that, I want him to be happy & healthy. I want him to get everything his heart desires. I gathered a lot of courage last night before sending him that simple “hi”. It was almost after 3 months. The 2 minute chat we had was not much, but it made my heart pound as hard as anything could. I was so happy that you remembered me & wanted to talk, But I was also kind of disappointed when you didn’t reply after a while.

For weeks & weeks I always came online in hopes that you would message me but you never did. And I was too scared myself to message you worried that I would be annoying you or that you would have much better things to do than chat with me. So I did nothing. I just used to open your profile & see your pictures. You still looked the same way you did before, you still were a little spoilt but a popular guy. You still had that element about you, but something was changed, your expressions, your smile, i found hidden sadness in it. It troubled me.

The kind of statuses you shared made it seem that you were heartbroken. And I still remember the caption of 2 pics- It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. Distance doesn’t matter if two hearts are loyal to each other. It made me wonder who you were talking about. Oh. , how I wish it was me. But I guess it can’t be me coz its almost impossible that you have a crush on me. Nobody has made me feel this way, nobody. Nobody has made me cry this way. It’s not just one time or two time, hell, not even three times; it’s endless times when my heart misses him.

Each time i don’t know why i cry & each time I promise myself not to cry again. But then again I see his picture, his beautiful face & i can’t stop myself from missing him. Just reading his name causes my heart to flutter a little. I don’t even understand why I miss him so much. It’s not like we were friends or anything. He made friends pretty easily & I had hardly any friends. In fact, he was friends with people who used to make fun of me. But I never let myself In the last 4 months we might have had two short chats consisting of 13 messages in total.

But still when I read the words you typed, that you actually wanted to talk to me I cannot stop but smile a little. The first chat took place in December last year when you sent me a request on fb. My heart actually stopped for a second there. And when you messaged me, my heart was so full of happiness that I am sure I would have screamed. I tried acting cool & to let you believe I was happy in my life I acted cheerfully. And when you messaged to ask if I remember you, oh the irony.! The only reason I joined fb was because of you. The way you typed your messages,,there was something different about it.

But then after one message you did not reply back. You were still online, it made me feel like you had more important people to chat with, so I let it go. After that I came online each day as many hours as I could in hopes that you would message me, but you never did. And I was too much of a coward myself to message you, I thought that I would be annoying you. So I never did. Until last week when I finally gathered enough strength to send you that 2 letter word “hi”. I waited for almost 5 minutes but you didn’t reply,so I felt really stupid for messaging.

Then I found out that my stupid internet connection did not load that page properly, so I opened a new tab, & see that you had replied in the next minute. I felt so happy, that you took time out of your life to reply to my message. You asked how my exams took plac, & I asked about yours, the you tell me you are back in the city. Then my stupid net setter disconnected & I couldn’t get a signal for 30 min. Damn..! it never does such a drama when I am doing noting. Anyways, I replied, that night you didn’t come online. That is all