Am I Bad or Good Person?
Today, while trying to teach about given circumstances, I was asked “Why do you keep trying when no one cares.” I was not ready to answer, because the answer is deep and embedded in who I am as a person. I am a little stubborn and unrelenting. I know that a lot of people say they are stubborn, and I often don’t believe them, because I have met very few people as unrelenting as myself, but kids sure are stubborn.
When I was sixteen my brother, sister, and mom were playing a stupid game down in the kitchen with spaghetti noodles leftover from my mom’s spaghetti dinner. This game had certain rules and a very certain setup, which was designed to have only one solution. The noodles looked like a jumbled mess, like pick up sticks.
My mom had asked both my brother and sister to try before I arrived, and neither could figure out the pattern. She asked me to try, and my brother and sister sniggered with each other already aware of the failure that was going to occur. I tried and tried and tried, and the laughter stopped, and turned to mocking. “Dude, there is only one way to solve it. Stop trying you are never gonna get it.”
Even though I was had made little progress, after working for twenty minutes, I felt like I was coming closer to the answer, and then the mocking, “Travis stop. You’re never gonna get it. Why are you so dumb. We told you there is only one way. Let me show you.” My brother then came over and showed me, which I didn’t want.
Thirty minutes passed since I starting, and when my brother showed me I realized how easy and wrong I was. I saw how simple it was, but I still felt like I still needed to finish my thought process, so I kept trying. At this point my family started to really make fun of me, which is understandable now that I am older, but then all I could do was curse back at my brother, which made my mother upset.
She would tell me to stop being so rude. And finally, after continual mocking, I had enough. My brother spooned a mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth and while still open, he crossed his eyes with a dumb look and swished the spaghetti around, making an annoying noise. My mom saw ‘RED’ in my eyes and told my brother to run.
My mom got in my way to slow me down and so did my sister. I nearly caught him as the door slammed in my face. I had to slow down to open it. He was far down the street looking back, so I gave up, screaming bad words at him as he ran, unwilling to face me.
I wonder why I am telling you this story. Maybe to let you know I was a kid once.
I think I understand now though why that experience made me so mad and why I thought of it just now. Not only was my brother being annoying, but I wanted to try to prove something to myself. I wanted to prove that I was smart enough to come close to solving something impossible. I didn’t really think I could, but at least I wanted to make a solid effort. Maybe I question if I can help you and I want to make a solid effort no matter how impossible.
I want you to think, because you can! even if it seems pointless.
