An Interview with My Nephew on the Topic of Divorce and the Misconception of Children from a Broken Family
There is no doubt that when a family goes through a divorce the children are the most affected. There are many problems that could arise as a consequence of the divorce. Many people believe that a child that has gone through their parent’s divorce experiences many damaging effects. For example, some people believe that children that experience their parent’s divorce are more likely to get in trouble either in school or in the household.
Another belief is that children might become less sociable due to the damage that a divorce could cause in a child. Yet another belief is that children experience abandonment from one of the parents due to the fact that the children spend most of the time with only one parent and the other parent spends much less time with the children. My nephew, who is seventeen years old high school student, went through his parent’s divorce at the age of nine. He is the oldest of three children and his mother has custody of the children. His father has the weekends with him and his siblings and actively takes part in any of the children’s main occasions. I will be interviewing my nephew to look at some of the misconceptions people have of children like him and to make assumptions of my own.
Many people believe that children who experience their parent’s divorce are children who are more disobedient and rule violators than other children. In regards to this misconception, my nephew has always been an outstanding student in regards to grades and conduct before, during, and after the divorce. He recalls that school was something that he always loved and that school kept him focused and away from problems at home. When the divorce occurred, he was in the fourth grade and the divorce did not affect his grades.
Instead of affecting his grades, he continued to exceled by taking classes ahead of his grade level and by being the best student out of his class. My nephew also did not show any disobedience at home. He continued to take part in the household chores without any objection. He thinks that it is his responsibility to help out his mother around the house and also to help his siblings with their homework when his mother is not available.
Another thing that many people believe is that children of divorced parents are less social. My nephew mentioned that in addition to school, soccer has played a major role in dealing with the situation he is living. Soccer has helped him develop his social skills by meeting new people and creating friendships in and out of school. He is currently in the high school soccer team where he has had the opportunity to interact with different people.
He has also made many friends that share his passion for soccer and every other day play soccer in a park near his home. Another thing that has helped him become more sociable is that since he spends time with his mother and father in separate households, he has been able to meet other people that are part of his parent’s life. He describes the situation as being part of two families where both contribute positively to his social development because he has to be part of family dinners, birthdays and other occasions.
Finally, people believe that children who have gone through their parent’s divorce suffer abandonment from one parent. My nephew believes that this is not true because most of the time either by joint agreement of both parents or by order of the judge, the children are given joint custody to the parents. In his case, he has the opportunity to spend time with both of his parents. He lives with his mother and spends the weekend with his father and longer time on summer vacations if he wishes to.
He mentions that every time he goes to his father’s house; they always arrange something to do. He also adds that whenever he has to go to the doctor or dentist if both parents are available they both attend the visit. His father is also involved in any special occasion that relates to him. For example, when he graduated from elementary and middle school both of his parents attended his graduation and had dinner together to celebrate his accomplishment. His father also makes every attempt to go to his soccer games.
People sometimes are quick to analyze a child that has gone through his/her parent’s divorce. Often people assume that a child of divorced parents tends to be more disobedient and law breaker. Although it may occur to some children sometimes it is the focus and obedient side of the child that overtakes that child to overcome that drama.
A child that has gone through a divorce may be inclined to become less social but with the help from all the people involved in the child’s life that could be fixed. Also a likely misconception is that a child of divorced parents may experience abandonment of one parent but the decision is made by both parents and if they want to continue to be involved in their child’s life they have to make an effort to get involved. Making assumptions of a child of divorced parent can make a child fulfill those assumptions if that child is not adequately guided in the right direction.