Brazil Culture
Comparison between marriage customs in America and Nigeria Research design It is often said that marriages are made in Heaven, and therefore, a suitable partner is very much of a necessity so as to lead a very happy and satisfied life. We often witness two types of Marriages, mainly, love marriages and arranged marriages. In love marriage, two adults decide to involve themselves in the holy bond of matrimony and in the other the families of the groom and the bride, or the third parties, a very active role in determining the match.
In earlier days arranged marriages were the norm; this research provides a comparative analysis of the different practices and beliefs in marriage in the American and Nigerian contexts. The research contends that in effect, marriage rituals are characterized as dynamically developing to include or allow social changes that happen in terms of looking for a potential domestic partner . Marriage is the most important event in a persons life and the ceremony and tradition involve dare an integral of the day. Marriage customs and ceremony are based on the religion and the country the person is in.
There are lots of difference in the marriage customs between Nigeria and America, like in country “Nigeria”, marriage procedures follows step by step which depends on where the man comes from, either from the eastern part (called the Ibos), western (called the Yoruba’s) and the northern part of Nigeria (called the Hausas), in this research I would be talking about marriages only in the western region. Marriage in the western region of Nigeria involves various stages before the couple can be declared as husband and wife.
Before a man can marry a woman he ought to go through some traditional rituals and process which involves quality time and money. This involves three different stages, firstly is the “momimo” meaning “introduction” in Yoruba language, then the “idanaadehun igbeyawo” meaning “engagement” and lastly the main event called “ayeye igbeyawo” meaning wedding, after this last process then the couple can now called regarded as husband and wife. The first stage: “THE INTRODUCTION” is the part of the occasion whereby the man and his family goes to the woman’s family to ask of approval of their daughter’s hand in marriage.
The procedure involves the groom and his family, and a person called “olopa iduro” meaning standing policeman. The standing policeman is the one who speaks on behalf of the groom’s family, he might be a family member or hired for the occasion. This same procedure also applies to the bride’s family but in this case the appointed speaker is called “olopa ijoko” meaning sitting policeman in Yoruba language. The whole procedure takes place in the bride’s family house where everybody will gather around waiting for the groom’s arrival, meanwhile preparations like food and other things would be made down by the bride’s family.
The bride’s family is supposed to be dressed in the native attire which implies respect for the culture. The groom and his family are expected to come on the time appointed but there is a concept called “African Time” where no one is expected to arrive at the actual time appointed for the occasion, nevertheless if the groom and family arrive too late and keep them the bride and family waiting for short while, they might be asked to leave or probably allowed to appeal to the family by paying a traditional fine to the bride’s family before they could be accepted. hen the groom and his family gets to the brides place, as soon as the enter the house the men prostrate to the brides parents while the bride kneel down to the groom family, this is a respectful way of exchanging greetings according to Yoruba culture. After all the cultural greetings they take their seats whereby both families sits on opposites sides of the room with the bride and groom in the center while the olopa ijoko and olopa iduro take the seats in the middle so as to be get a close attention of everybody closely.
The “olopa iduro” (the standing policeman) starts by introducing the groom and his family to the bride and her family then he brings out a proposal letter from the groom’s family and gives it to the brides family through “olopa ijoko” (the sitting policeman). The proposal is then read out orally to the bride’s family, since it is already comprehended that the couples are going to be married, the proposal is not usually rejected at this point. The groom also ays an amount of money called “owo ori iyawo” meaning bride price and this goes directly to the bride. When various introductions have been made, the proposal is accepted on the spot then they make arrangements for the second process of the marriage which is the ENGAGEMENT. THE ENGAGMENT is the part of the occasion whereby the bride and groom are tied together traditionally based on the Yoruba culture, this also takes place at the bride’s house and again they are responsible for the refreshments and other necessary preparations for the occasion.
This part of the occasion, both families are meant to wear Yoruba traditional attire called “aso oke” which are more elegant and expensive, later on some prayers are said and some symbolic items of food are passed around by the “olopas” (The two policemen) and it’s then passed around to the guest, which is then used to bless the bride and groom in a prayer said in Yoruba language.
The first item is “obi” (kola nut) then elder says “won ma gbo” meaning they will ripen Won ma to meaning they will eat and not go hungry Won ma d’agba meaning they will grow old. The second item is “Ata ire: this consists of many seeds, and it is opened up, and the superstition is that the number of seeds that fall out is the number of children the couple will bear. The third item is Oyin (honey), sugar, ireke (sugar cane): these all symbolize that the union will be sweet.
The grooms family also bring lots of other thing like yam, drinks, wine, palm oil, during all these before she shows up, she usually waits in her indoors until she’s called for, she comes out wearing a veil made of plaited hair which represents reserve and accompanied by one of her friends and taken to her parents then kneels down before so they can give her their blessings, she then sits near the groom, this is when she becomes unveiled.
The couple jumps over a brush covered with flowers which symbolizes the stating of a domestic life, the groom then kisses her then everybody begins to eat and rejoice till the end of the occasion. The third and final stage of the marriage is the main wedding which is held in a church or mosque depending on the religion. This is the part of the occasion where they are joined by God and exchange vows. They can now be called husband and wife and go on a honeymoon if they could afford it but not really necessary, start living together and raise a family.
On the other side American marriage are held upon high standards and based upon strong values that are shared between the two parties being wed, these two are brought together to form their sacred bondage of love and life with each other. Weddings in America are known to be the most flexible and varied in the entire world due to the variation of race and ethnic backgrounds that the American culture embodies. In America, a man and a woman meet in the most casual and social way like a bar, restaurant, events and other lots of places, they don’t need to do too much introduction to get married as long as they love one another.
There is only one procedure in getting married in the United States which is mainly in the church. Friends and family assemble, soft slow romantic and the vows add to the charm of the marriage customs. In America, before the marriage the bride have a little get together called bridal night where only her and her female friends have a last night of all alone fun before her matrimonial life begins and also the groom also have his own party called bachelors party is going out with his male friends to have fun before his marriage.
In an American marriage, the bride wears a pure white gown and the groom wears a black tuxedo. Since the weeding takes place in church, it is usually conducted by a priest who ask the people in the church if they have any problem with the joining of the man and woman as husband and wife or keep silent forever, then if nobody talks, the priest then ask the couple to kiss as a symbol of the union, sealed with love from God. It’s the custom for the newly wed to on a honeymoon and have a period of intimate time alone, like a vacation.
It’s clearly seen that both marriage customs between the two counties are totally different, which has been the standard in as long time. Refrences and bibilographic source Marriage Customs in Many Lands (Hardcover – Jan 2005) by H. Hutchinson Marriage Customs of the World: From Henna to Honeymoons (Hardcover – 2004/11/30 Knot Tied: Marriage Ceremonies of All Nations By William Tegg African Ceremonies by Carol Beckwith Culture and Customs of Nigeria (Series – Culture and Customs of Africa) By toyin falola
