Friendship

The Effects of Smoking on Adolescent Behavior and Their Ability to Perform Well in School James Grimes Eastern Kentucky University Abstract There is a considerable body of empirical research that has identified adolescent peer relationships as a primary factor involved in adolescent cigarette smoking. Despite this large research base, many questions remain unanswered about the mechanisms by which peers affect youths’ smoking behavior. Understanding these processes of influence is the key to the development of prevention and intervention programs designed to address adolescent smoking as a significant public health concern.

In this paper, theoretical frameworks and empirical findings are reviewed critically which inform the current state of knowledge regarding peer influences on teenage smoking. Specifically, social learning theory, primary socialization theory, social identity theory and social network theory are discussed. Empirical findings regarding peer influence and selection, as well as multiple reference points in adolescent friendships, including best friendships, romantic relationships, peer groups and social crowds, are also reviewed.

Review of this work reveals the contribution that peers have in adolescents’ use of tobacco, in some cases promoting use, and in other cases deterring it. The Effects of Smoking on Adolescent Behavior and Their Ability to Perform Well in School Introduction Smoking by adolescents is a social activity and subject to peer pressure. Peers may offer information on where to buy cigarettes and even how to smoke them. Teenagers are often evaluated by the peers as to how cool he or she may be.

Popular culture dictates an association between smoking and being a cool kid as much as wearing the right clothes, having a certain haircut, and being friends with the right people. In a since, smoking is a way of reflecting an identity. Knowing this one must ask is smoking by adolescents is really an act they wish to perform. Whether you smoke or not can determine who your friends may be. Kobus (2003) suggests that non smokers tend to befriend non smokers and smokers tend to befriend smokers. Non smokers that do become friends with smokers run a much higher risk at becoming a smoker themselves.

Hypothesis In this study, I believe that adolescent who smoke will most likely have friends who smoke. I believe this study will show that 25% of the teenagers polled will be smokers and 80% of them will be friends with other smokers. It will also prove that the non smokers will be less likely to be friends with smokers. Literature Review Kobus (2003) suggests that peer relationships are the primary factor involved in cigarette smoking. Specifically, social learning theory, primary socialization theory, social identity theory and social network theory are discussed.

Empirical findings regarding peer influence and selection, as well as multiple reference points in adolescent friendships, including best friendships, romantic relationships, peer groups and social crowds, are also reviewed. Patton, Hibbert, Rosier, Carlin, Caust, and Bowes (1996) state that an association of smoking with depression and anxiety has been documented in adult smokers. Subjects reporting high levels of depression and anxiety were twice as likely to be smokers after the potential confounders of year level; sex, alcohol use, and parental smoking were controlled for.

Regular smokers were almost twice as likely as occasional smokers to report high levels of depression and anxiety. In trying to determine whether smoking can influence a student’s school performance, Te-wei, Zihua, and Keeler (1998) report there’s no direct causation from smoking to school performance, but smoking might have an indirect effect, leading to other delinquency behaviors or drug abuse. These behaviors, in turn, could lead to poor school performance. However, the main argument against this hypothesis is that smoking is a relatively common behavior relative to other factors that lead to antisocial behaviors.

Methodology Population The population I used in this study of sophomore students in Ms. Powell’s math classes at McCreary Central High. I posted a survey to a web site and have asked all that would to take the survey. Instruments I started my survey by asking a yes or no question: “Do you smoke? ” Then I asked all the non smokers the following 5 questions: 1. Are you male or female? 2. Does either of your parents smoke? 3. Do you feel pressure from your friends to smoke? 4. Would you have a best friend that smokes? 5. What is your average grade in school? Then I asked all smokers the following questions: 1.

Are you male or female? 2. Does either of your parents smoke? 3. Do you pressure your friends to smoke? 4. Does your best friend smoke? 5. What is your average grade in school? Data Analysis At the time of writing this draft I have not collected any data yet. I will add this on my final draft. Discussion At the time I am writing the first draft I haven’t had enough time to collect the data for my paper. I have posted my questions using survey monkey to a web page at McCreary Central High where my wife teaches. She is going to ask student from her class to take the survey. So far I have only had 4 people take the survey.

This is hardly enough to come to any conclusions. Conclusions In Conclusion, I plan on collecting the date from my surveys to analyze. Kobus (2003) concludes that adolescent peer relationships contribute to adolescent cigarette smoking. Youth who are friends with smokers have been found to be more likely to smoke themselves than those with only nonsmokers as friends. Best friends, romantic partners, peer groups and social crowds all have been found to contribute to the smoking or non-smoking behavior of teenagers. In some cases, peer influences promote smoking and, in other cases, they deter it.

The mechanisms of peer influence appear to be more covert and subtle than is thought commonly. That is, rather than be the result of direct and coercive pressures, decisions regarding smoking behavior have been found to reflect predetermined choices about fitting in, social approval, popularity and autonomy. Parents and the media have also been found to contribute to the smoking or non-smoking of youth.

References Akers, R. L. , Massey, J. , Clarke, W. , ;amp; Lauer, R. M. (1983). Are Self-Reports of Adolescent Deviance Valid? Biochemical Measures, Randomized Response, and the Bogus Pipeline in Smoking Behavior. Social Forces, 62(1), 234-251. Freinkel, S. , Fuerst, M. L. , ;amp; Krieger, E. B. (1999). Teen Smoking: The Longest Drag. Health (Time Inc. Health), 13(6), 18. Kobus, K. (2003). Peers and adolescent smoking. Addiction, 9837-55. doi:10. 1046/j. 1360-0443. 98. s1. 4. x Patton, G. C. , Hibbert, M. , Rosier, M. J. , Carlin, J. B. , Caust, J. , ;amp; Bowes, G. (1996). Is Smoking Associated with Depression and Anxiety in Teenagers?. American Journal Of Public Health, 86(2), 225. Te-wei, H. , Zihua, L. , ;amp; Keeler, T. E. (1998). Teenage Smoking, Attempts to Quit, and School Performance. American Journal Of Public Health, 88(6), 940-943.

It is said that being at the top can be lonely. There are facets to your job which can make you uncomfortable. However, everyone understands that climbing to the top of the corporate ladder often requires that you make some tough decisions. It is a sacrifice that many executives make to be in the senior positions. Why? Well because of the perks of the job and because as human beings we are naturally ambitious. But that does not mean that you have to sit on that mountain peak alone. No, you can learn different strategies that will help you to befriend your co-workers and engender lasting relationships, while performing your duties and not compromising yourself.

There are several other strategies that can help you to maintain your own relationship and understand how to be friends with someone who works for you.

Carefully Select Your Friends

This might sound familiar. Well it is an old adage that is repeated from one generation to the next and it is because it serves a valuable purpose. Your friends will show others who you are. They have the power to enhance or detract from your character. They must be trustworthy and have good judgment. So take your time, when selecting someone to be your workplace buddy.

Set Your Standards From Early

One of the first things which must be understood is that senior managers will have to withhold information that might impact a lower level employee’s job. Not because you are buddies, it means that every topic will be on the agenda for gossip. A good manager will understand this reality and make it clear from day one. It is in both your best interest that your relationship is transparent and that others are not threatened by it.

These standards must also be applied in the workplace. They must dictate how you interact in the workplace and outside of the workplace. Have a discussion about how you speak to each other in the office environment. It should never be said that you are loafing around in your office with your subordinate, or vice versa. You want to also safeguard your relationships with other employees. They must feel that they can trust either of you with information that will not disrupt the lines of confidentiality for the other parties.

Be A Friend, Not Always The Boss

Do not seek to dominate the relationship. If you are aggressive or overbearing with someone you want a friendship with, chances are they will distance themselves with you over time or not be genuine because they still see you as the boss, outside of work hours. Remember, it is important that there is mutual respect and trust.

Do Not Renege On Your Job Responsibilities

You might care about your friend’s opinions or feelings. However that should never impact your direct job functions. Where it is required, always be direct, honest and straightforward. Be prepared to be truthful, if their job performance is below par or negatively affecting the business. Any good relationship can withstand these tests and will be better for it. If not, it was not worth it, in the first place.

Great, genuine relationships might be rare, but it is possible to engender them within the workplace. It takes great care, patience and wisdom to determine whether someone is worthy of having a friendship. Keep in mind, that it would be best to observe the individual for a while. Befriending a new hire is not advised, especially if their work ethics, performance and other elements have not been proven. Always ensure that the lines between professional and personal are never blurred.

Walt Disney Company CEO Michael Eisner hired his longtime close friend Michael Ovitz to the number two position at the company. In two month’s time, their business and personal relationships went completely sour and ended in a severance package that cost Disney an estimated $140 million followed by litigation suits from its shareholders (Janove).

Carly Drum, managing director at Drum Associates, an executive search firm in Manhattan, had set some guidelines when she hired her good friend and former client Kristin Shannon as the firm’s managing director of operations and successfully made their new relationship work for the best interest of the company (DiProperzio, 2008). Similar situations are replicated many times over in organizations, at times with a certain twist, as when longtime co-workers and office buddies suddenly found themselves in situations when one becomes a boss to the other.

There is really nothing extraordinary with becoming friends with co-workers; however, when the situation is such that you become boss to your friend, it becomes an altogether different ballgame because both the playing field and relationship are no longer equal or of the same level. Should managers or bosses then take friends to work for them or be friends with their subordinates?

Some point out that managers may find it difficult to act successfully as head of an organization when they are friends with their subordinates because conflicts can set in when the gaps start to surface between the manager’s expectations and that of an employee friend’s performance, attendance or conduct which eventually may affect their personal and working relationship and the organization as a whole.

Others think that in general, becoming too buddy-buddy with subordinates is a bad idea as a manager may be placed in a position where he can be taken advantage of, abused or lose respect from employees (Dylan, 2008). Francie Dalton, a consultant specializing in workplace behaviors says it is not a good idea for three reasons:

1. at best it will inhibit, or at worst, it will erode the performance review process;
2. others may assume that the boss is playing favorites;
3. bosses may look immature to their peers (Webb, 2006).

The goal of this essay is to persuade managers and supervisors that indeed being friends to subordinates may present some degree of complexity to relations as well as conflict in the workplace but when handled properly, it can also work to further strengthen the personal friendship while at the same time work positively for the benefit and best interests of the organization. The philosophy here is that people are generally happier when they like their colleagues and their bosses.

If an organization functions more like a circle of friends, those within the sphere – both boss and employees – are naturally inclined to work harder and live up to each other’s expectations. Further, the boss becomes more attuned with employees’ strengths, weaknesses, challenges and personal crises which will enable him to manage effectively. Managers who are friends to their employees enjoy strong, positive relationship with their staff. They know their families, interests and goals in life and as such understand better what motivates them, giving them considerable advantage in managing their people.

The approach to workplace motivation may be handled in many different ways for each business; however, the responsibility of its incorporation amongst the workforce generally lies within the immediate supervisor or manager of the employee. Employees who are strongly connected to their supervisors/managers are more likely to work longer hours and be loyal to the company (allbusiness. com). Paul Lawrence Vann in his book, “Living on Higher Ground”, noted that employees do not leave their jobs because of work but because of poor relationships with their supervisors.

When an atmosphere of friendship permeates an organization, it is easier to build trust and openness and engage the efforts of employees towards collaboration. As a manager, there is very little you can do on your own. Open communication is a sign of trust, and if employees feel their boss has implicit trust in them and their abilities, they will be more motivated at giving out the best possible work to drive the business forward (allbusiness. com). Supervisors become more accessible to their employees when the lines of communication are open and trusted.

A manager needs to engage his employees’ participation and support in how to map the company’s business path by inviting them to share their suggestions and concerns and engaging them in discussions. A manager who knows how to lead and inspire is able to breed collaboration, both inside and outside the business. Collaboration brings out new ideas and innovations to an organization. The best managers in the world are not only experts in systems, processes, and technical competencies (Rath, 2006).

Employees want and need managers who care about their lives beyond the workplace, one who can be genuinely sensitive as a friend especially in times of crisis. Gallup in its survey found that people who said that their supervisors or someone in their place of work care for them are:

1. more likely to stay with the organization;
2. have more engaged customers;
3. be more productive.

A boss being friends with subordinates is a good thing because it allows the subordinates to be themselves at the workplace, which contributes to higher productivity (Vann).

Thus, managers who want to have happier and productive employees should consider developing strong friendships at the office with their subordinates. Employees who have a close friendship with their managers are more than 2. 5 times more likely to be satisfied with their job (Rath, 2006). Indeed, managers or bosses can start or continue to be friends with the people they supervise but it is important to ascertain first the foundation of the friendship, especially whether there is common ground for carrying the relationship forward.

It is also equally important that the connection must have been built upon positive shared values so that the relationship can grow to be productive and beneficial to the organization. Nonetheless, managers must take a careful, cautious approach, and constantly be aware of the possible pitfalls. Jill Geisler (2001) provides the following tips for new bosses supervising their old friends:

1. Always be fair to all employees and colleagues. Ask for mutual understanding from the start and never let the friendship stand in the way of your judgments.
2. To be sociable but using utmost discretion
3. Become more sensitive to the feelings of others and remain open-minded. A concerned boss is forever remembered by people in crisis and is open to listen to criticisms and suggestions.
4. To be discreet about confidential information related to work. In time, a manager will find that the good relationship he has established with subordinate friends would have gradually evolved to reflect his new role as leader.

In the process, he may lose some valued subordinate friends but whomever remains will expectedly be those who are friends in the real sense, who fully understand the nature and importance of his leadership and the best interest of the organization. Overall, he stands to gain more on both ways: on the personal level through strengthened relationships with his employees and at the organizational level through a loyal, committed and productive workforce.

References:

Allbusiness. com. Boss or friend? The importance of a clearly defined working relationship. Retrieved on August 21, 2008, from http://www. allbusiness.com/human-resources/workforce-management/11242-1. html

DiProperzio, L. What happens when your buddy becomes your boss? New York Post (31 March 2008) Retrieved on August 21, 2008, from http://www. nypost. com/seven/03312008/jobs/friends_with_benefits_104382. htm Dylan, M. Socializing with subordinates.

Office Politics (30 June 2008). Retrieved on August 21, 2008, from http://office-politics. suite101. com/article. cfm/socializing_with_subordinates

Geisler. J. (6 August 2001) Can the boss be a friend? Retrieved on August 21, 2008, from http://www. poynter. org/column. asp? id=34;aid=2408 Janove, J. FOB: Friend of boss.

Management Tools. Retrieved on August 21, 2008, from, http://www. bullardlaw. com/assets/documents/jjanoveHRMagjune05. pdf

Rath, T. Vital friends: The people you can’t afford to live without. The Gallup Press (August 2006). Retrieved on August 21, 2008, from https://www. vitalfriends. com/library/pdf/VitalFriendsMediaKit. pdf

Rath, T. Vital friends: Can employees be friends with the boss? The Gallup Press (August 2006). Retrieved on August 21, 2008, from http://gmj. gallup. com/content/23893/Can-Employees-Be-Friends-With-the-Boss. aspx Vann, P. L. Living on Higher Ground. Laurel Wreath Publishing, Fort Washington

The majority of us have friends, the friends we have known since childhood, the friends we would do anything for; the friend that would do anything for us. Most of us have friends that are for specific situations, the friends we party with, the friend who will help us paint our house; the friend we can call at two in the morning because we just got dumped. Our lives might not be complete without our friends. I would bet money, large sums in fact; that we all have at least one fair weather friend.

We can always count on the fair weather friend to be right by our side at the best of times. When we go on that first date, and it ends up being a double date for “security” purposes; we can count on our fair weather friend being there showing their full support. When we have an extra ticket to whatever sporting event it may be, we need not look any further than our fair weather friend. Who will be the first to arrive at our house on Super bowl Sunday or game seven of the NBA playoffs?

Our trustworthy fair weather friend of course! When we need a friend that will drink the most drinks, and eat the most food at our social events, we can just call our fair weather friend. If good times are to be had, our fair weather friend will not disappoint us. While our true friends will be there through thick and thin, our fair weather friend will avoid us like a plague in times of crisis. Our true friends will give us that shoulder to cry on, they will tell us the truth whether it hurts our feelings or not.

Our fair weather friend will not show up until there is fun to be had. It is probably safe to say that a good number of our “real” friends are mutual friends; we might notice that no one else in our circle really associates with our fair weather friend unless we are involved. When we encounter the occasional financial hardship, our trustworthy fair weather friend is not ever able to help, however if they need some money we may the first person they ask. If there is any situation, of any importance, we should not call our fair weather friend.

They always have reasons why they cannot help us at this particular time, but they will be there for us the next time. 3 As time goes on we may notice ourselves putting more and more distance between us and our fair weather friend. We start to see them for the opportunist that that they are,and, we may find that spending time around them now requires a concentrated effort on our part. From time to time we may still invite them along for some miscellaneous event, because after all they do know how to have fun.

When we are bored and just need someone to have idle chit-chat with there is a chance that they can still get a call. But, if there is a situation of any real consequence; that requires a real friend, we will find ourselves scrolling past their name in the address book of our cell phone. At some point and time in the relationship, our fair weather friend will end up like that one toy that was our favorite as a child; they will be put on the shelf. We will give up the flashing lights and amusing sounds for something that is truly engaging.

The object that once entertained our shallow senses will be replaced by one that satisfies needs that are more in depth. Even though we will call upon our fair weather friend less and less, when they have an opportunity to use us to their advantage, they will continue to seek us out without hesitation. Because even if they feel the relationship changing, they will not want to give up their “true friend”, the one they could count on to be there through thick and thin; the one they could always borrow money from and take their time paying it back.

The one their life would not be complete without. The fair weather friend has a very short shelf life; they often wonder why they cannot keep friends. They do not realize that a friendship is a two way street. They wonder why, with them being such a good friend, that their calls are no longer answered, why their messages are no longer returned. They can always find fault with the other person to explain why this always happens to them. What they cannot, and will not ever understand, is why they always end up with fair weather friends.

I have formed many friendships in life. Each friend, however, is different. Some are closer than others. Some are more important to keep than others. There are friends made out of necessity and some formed as if by fate. Friends, certainly, are of various kinds. I have one best friend. We share many similarities in character and preferences. We have been through a lot since we first met. The best friend is someone whom you think you could trade personalities with. He is someone whom you could share your secrets, dreams and problems.

He will accept you for both your good and bad traits and could be depended on in both happy and sad times. The other type of friend I have made is the group-friend. The clique is a group of people whom you go in a group with. I am part of one in school and another in the neighborhood. When I start working in a company, I know I will be part of another. Although the closeness is less than that of the best friend, belonging to a clique means having a group to hang out with, play games with, and sympathize with each other’s life stories.

Then, there are the friends I keep in close contact with but am not really close enough to confide in. I keep a good relationship with them because I see them regularly. They are schoolmates, sons and daughters of my parents, neighbors, and other people whom I interact with in a regular basis. Finally, there are the friends whom I make at various stages in my life but whom I lost contact with through the years. For instance, childhood friends who went to different schools or have already moved to other places.

I keep in contact with some of them through email and sometimes I see them but a long distance friendship is different to having a regular friend around. Friends change every year or so. Even a best friend can become a mere acquaintance later on in life. There are no permanent friends unless one takes the extra effort. Friends are important to have in life, however, in that they are like life-saving crafts. We need them during fun times, but we need them more during the low moments of life.

Communication on the Internet

Communication before the discovery of internet is only imparted through auditory means, body languages and manual writing. The technology of internet however gave people many options on how to communicate faster and easier. The most popular use of the Internet is communication. The creation of every technology is originally for his advantage. However, man as rational and creative beings always seek ways to make something more beneficial to them even if it is immoral.

Communication seems to be the foremost target or objective of internet. Human beings can now communicate in a fraction of second with an individual who is sitting in the other part of the world with the help of plenty messenger services. People can now avail the facilities of email, friendster, facebook, myspace, chat and others. Through these social networking sites, it allows anyone to view information about them which includes photos, blogs, favorites, videos etc.

It is an excellent way to keep in touch and maintain relationships with family and friends. It is now becoming easier to widen one’s social network and establish a kind of global friendship where you can share your thoughts and ideas. Moreover, the opportunity of global friendship that the internet creates will give one an opportunity to explore other culture, tradition and social orientation. It widens people understanding about human nature, why and how things happen. Today, groups or communities have sprung up on the internet where people of common interest discuss common issues thus create shared understanding. Many people through blogs and websites share their information about their interests or hobbies. When the information has been read by someone with same too, it is easy to make friends and contact. Generally, internet is becoming a friendly place that offers cheap and easy alternative to traditional methods of communication.

However, internet can be very deceiving too. People can readily post wrong information about themselves to impress and get attention. There are internet users who used messaging system to create an intimate relationship with someone they don’t know and even see in person. They unconsciously seek belongingness on those people they meet through the internet. As a result, they give too much emotional attachment and trust that may result to higher expectations. In the internet, people can easily exaggerate things about themselves though the power of language.

When a particular net communicator ask someone “what is the color of your hair?”, instead of saying “black hair” the receiver may say “jet black hair”. Or when being asked “what is color of your eyes?”, instead of saying “brown eyes”, the receiver may say “deep brown eyes”. The use of impressive and descriptive words has psychological effects on the receiver. He may likely create wrong impressions and expectations that when he finally meets that person, he will easily get discourage. The internet eliminates the physical aspects of relationships which are very significant to establish a connection.

Communicating online is becoming a trend and face to face interaction is not already a commonplace. For those people who are less personal and interactive, they tend to use internet to create social connection. These people are most of the time have low self esteem and has lots of social anxieties. When they can’t be seen or identified, they are more willing and comfortable to open up and share true feelings. However, the receiver who doesn’t hear the tone, who doesn’t see the physical language and doesn’t feel the strength and vulnerability of its emotions, may misinterpret the meaning.

As a result, the receiver is more likely to pass wrong judgment and the person giving the information is more likely to get hurt. Moreover, communication via internet instead of face to face will lessen one’s opportunity to meet new people and to create true personal friendship outside home. It will also lessen one’s chance to enhance his communication skills and to work out his social anxieties. Moreover, some people are getting addicted on internet communication that makes them set aside their physical interactions on friends and family. Communication online unconsciously encourage online courtship and friendship too which is not always effective. To fully invest emotionally with someone, there must be a constant human contact where you share experiences that will make you effectively learn together.

Since you can easily lie on internet communication, the ability to escape identity is more likely to happen. People can easily fulfill their illusions about themselves via the internet. People can easily send wrong information to feel belong which resulted to losing themselves. Moreover, internet communication sometimes discourages conflict resolution. If two communicators are faced with conflicts, they can easily log off or sign off and not to deal with the issue at hand. It is postponing issues that are most of the time unhealthy.

Internet is not only used to create intrapersonal relationships where you disclose something personal about yourself. Internet also becomes an effective tool in business communication. Since internet is inexpensive sometimes free, instant and reliable than conventional communication, more and more people are making business online. Some sell and promote products via the internet and some shop at home. Some has given the option to work at home through freelancing.

However, one disadvantage of these conveniences provided by the internet is that it might unconsciously discourage people to make human contact. Thus, will make their experience less meaningful. An internet marketer keeps him away from human contact thus a greater possibility to feel lonely and isolated. Everybody needs to meet people and socialize. Your personal experience with them will create more rapport. You will also learn from them and get to know yourself more as well. The feedback you acquire from them is more genuine than those web savvies. Moreover, conducting online transactions will create inability of both consumers and businesses to evaluate the credibility and legitimacy of the transaction.

Internet on business saves time and money. Internet through chat and electronic mails made it possible for the employees to be able to communicate with the clients and management. These apparently cut down expenses since employees or companies don’t have to spend in traveling to attend business meetings. It will also increase the productivity of the employees since the easy and instant communication via the internet will give them more time to finish more activities.

However, the experience to go to places and see it yourself will be lessening. To physically and visually experience something has a greater impact and has a greater meaning. But there are also people who used internet for their own advantage through using online communication in acquiring knowledge from different kinds of people. They treat online communication as a great opportunity to gather information in an interactive manner – that includes exchanging information through personal email messages and support groups.

Since communication via the internet widens one’s social network, it is inevitable sometimes that people acquire some inappropriate culture from other countries. They might be easily influenced by friends abroad who enjoy such culture. They might apply it even though it is apparently inappropriate to adapt in his own society.

Communication can be very effective on the internet. However, on the internet you can not completely assume that the information is private. There are people or predators who can you’re your trust but eventually put you on dangerous situations for their own advantage. But on the other side, “internet makes it easier for governmental and private sector entities to obtain information about consumers and possibly use that information to the consumer’s detrimental”.

Childhood is one of the most important things that make us who we are. These are the times when we learn certain things, do certain things and create certain things. Friends that we acquire while growing up seem to be the longest lasting type of friends, versus friends that we make when we are in our late teenage years. Waking up at 2 in the morning just to be able to surf with my friends before school was one of my most important childhood memories.

We would all sneak out of our parents’ houses and get together at our meeting place we used to call “Lion’s Rock. ” We would then proceed to walk to the shore 20 minutes down the road. I would remember these memories from my childhood forever because these were the days when we would have our own time just hanging out, joking with each other, and most importantly, catching that perfect surf. The loud, constant creaking of floorboards as I tiptoe around my bedroom at 2 in the morning wakes my dog up. He growls at me; I tell him to hush, be quiet and I’ll see him later.

I grab my backpack, my flip-flops, and my surfboard on the way out of the door. Lucky for me my parents don’t wake up easily, or I would definitely be getting a tongue-lashing from them early in the morning. I quietly tread the worn down staircase of our old 1800’s Japanese style house, breathing in and out slowly just to keep my nerves together. Step by step, I finally reached the bottom of the staircase. With a backpack strapped behind me and a surfboard clutched to my side, I quickly snuck out past the front door.

Ten minutes later I find my childhood friends Chedd, Jeng and Eliz-Mae at our meeting place. They complained about how slow I was taking and reminded me that today was the “Big Wave” and that it only last a couple of hours. We quickly walked to the shore where people were gathered. “Wow! ” I thought. There were probably close to fifty surfers out in the water. They were all waiting for the big wave that was supposed to hit sometime between 2 and 3 A. M. The fresh, salty smell of the ocean lingering about and the feel of the cool, constant waves underneath my body bring serenity to my mind.

Listening to the waves as they crash onto the shore reminds me how beautiful my surrounding was and how lucky I was to be a part of this beautiful creation called Earth. I begin to feel a sense of excitement and joy as we anxiously waited for the big waves. I was thinking of how amazing it would be to catch just one good wave. We joke around and talk about competing as to which one of us would catch the best surf of the night. We catch a couple small waves while we wait. Jeng, being the best one out of the four of us catches a decent wave and does a beautiful front side snap and rides the whole wave as it vanishes within the sea water.

We cheer him on as he paddles back where we were waiting for another wave to catch. A couple minutes later, Chedd and I paddle far out into the surf to catch a good wave we saw coming. After a hard bargain with the sea, we catch the wave and ride it out all the way down by the shore. We were having so much fun that we forgot about the “Big Wave! ” An hour later, while we were at the shore taking a break and re waxing our boards, they finally came. We saw that first huge wave crashing out and taking out 5 people and wiping them out.

We started laughing and giggling at them, thinking how funny it was getting wiped out by monstrous waves. A brief moment later we start to paddle out to the wave spot. Ducking and diving into the waves, we finally reach our destination. Chedd was the first one to catch a wave. He rides a decent 8 foot wave, then snapping back to the same spot where we were. Eliz-Mae and I caught a couple decent waves as well. Jeng just hung back, feeling the crashes come and go before him. As we paddle back to our spot, Jeng frantically pointed far out near the horizon; it was coming.

The “Big Wave” as we were told by the older guys surfing around us. We started to paddle to catch the perfect wave. We are going to have a first-hand experience with what we thought was a phenomenon at the time. As we are nearing the start of the wave, Eliz-Mae started to falter out and told us that she couldn’t do it. She was afraid; afraid that she wouldn’t be able to handle it. We told her that this is something that happens only a few times in our lives and that we should seize this perfect moment. We encouraged her to conquer her jitters; she finally said she’ll do it and paddled far out with us.

Wave after monstrous wave, they rushed toward shore. Jeng caught a 15 foot wave, Chedd and I caught a decent 10 footer, and to our surprise, Eliz-Mae caught up with Jeng and caught the same size wave as he did. It was probably the best 15 minutes of our lives that morning when we caught those monstrous waves. As we were walking back to our homes, all we could think about was how awesome it felt to be able to experience such feat. This particular childhood memory is such an important thing of my past because this happened four days before I left for the USA.

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to see them and hang out with them for a long time and to experience this with them was a great feeling. A couple of days later, they came to the airport with my family to bid us goodbye. A lot of hugs, “good byes” and “See you later” were said. For the first time in my life I cried in front of my friends. I told Chedd and Jeng to take care of the only girl in our gang and to keep catching those waves whenever possible. As I bid them goodbye, Eliz-Mae ran up and kissed me on my lips. I was confused with the situation; I didn’t know what to do. I was eight.

She gave me her bracelet and told that she would wait for me until I visited again. I stood there in the middle of the airport walkway flushed and surprised. I knew at that moment that I love her. I recall on to this childhood memory whenever I am in need of comforting. Whenever I am sad and lonely, I look back and think of this as the simpler, happier times. I think of the good times and the bad. As our lives change, we mature and forget things that we learn. We forget some of the people we meet, but not the ones that has carved something important in our hearts. These are the memories that will be buried with me to the grave.