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Business Etiquette and God Where Does God Fit In? Andrew Estep Liberty University Abstract This paper uses scripture from the Bible and many other credible sources to instruct the reader about the role God plays within business etiquette. The research targets business interactions from a Christian’s perspective. Many of the references used in this paper, have at some point or another, run or are running a legitimate company. The research conducted by each person comes from personal experience and other well established sources.

If examined together, the writings of these authors coincide with one another and the word of God. All the research points to single thesis; God should be in the middle of our daily lives and especially our jobs. Also, in order to truly grasp the full meaning of living a Christ centered life, deeper learning and understanding is required. Tying God and etiquette together is essential for a Christian person aspiring to be a businessman or businesswoman. Within business etiquette, there lie many know how’s, why’s and what for’s. Business etiquette consists of mannerisms and ways of doing business appropriately.

Without a standard of etiquette which is acceptable by all cultures and all peoples, business etiquette would become chaotic. Every group, language, and person would define their own ways, which if you are not happy with, too bad. Of course,etiquette varies slightly from one country and culture to another, but these variations are minor and if studied at a slightest bit would be easy to remember for future references. If asked, “What is business etiquette? ” Most people would respond with something like this, “how to eat right, how to sit right, how to talk right, and how to dress right. This is correct to a certain extent but business etiquette requires a little more performance from an individual practicing it. If one truly wants to understand why and how etiquette is conducted, they must simply take a little more time in learning etiquette and maybe even researching the history for why things are done the way they are. Now, let us say one inquires as to how God and Christianity fit into business etiquette? In order to answer this inquiry, one must understand that business etiquette is a lot more intricate then the common thoughts it is associated with.

Being a well mannered business person requires class and style which do not come with ease. These attributes are learned and practiced daily. Etiquette, if honest and real, can truly show a person’s heart. Real etiquette is seen from the outside and the inside of a person. Motives, thoughts, ideals, and character alike are the catalysts for the beginnings of a “type” of person. If the heart is pure, the man will be pure also, but if the heart is deceitful, so will be the man. Proverbs tells us, “A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him. (New International Version, 2005)This paper will explore the different levels of doing business etiquette from a Christian perspective. A Christian is held to a higher standard, not necessarily by men, but rather by God. As a Christian, we are called to be lights in this world and to live for God’s glory so that he might be pleased with us. C. S Lewis tells us, “For glory means good report with God, acceptance by God, response, acknowledgement, and welcome into the heart of things. ”(Lewis, 2001) Since Christians are called to a higher standard, etiquette must be broken down even further and needs to include the minute details of life.

These details include; rapports, money, walk with God, life perspective, choices, building a reputation and lastly our goals; not necessarily in that order. These seven categories are not the only areas involved with Christian etiquette, but rather seven of many. This paper will focus on these attributes and explain how Christianity and etiquette can be tied together in order to become Christian business etiquette. Within the human society and the world, a name is one of the most important aspects of a person, place, or thing.

When speaking of a name, the prettiness of the names is not what is being discussed here, but rather what one thinks about the object or person being described. “Reputation and name are often linked, like hand and glove. There is value in a name. ”(Pollard, 2006) To better understand the meaning of this, here are a few names; Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Ivan the Terrible, Enron, and Al-Qaida. On the opposite spectrum we have Billy Graham, Martin Luther King Jr. , C. S. Lewis, Gandhi, World Peace Organization, and Compassion International.

Each one of these names has a deeper meaning associated with them. Hitler and Stalin were mass murderers, Enron was a cheating company and Al-Qaida is a terrorist funding organization. On the other hand Billy Graham, Martin Luther King Jr. , and Gandhi were and are people of noble character, World Peace organization speaks for itself and Compassion International is a light for children globally. The name of a person or an organization will either make them or break them. Proverbs says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. (New International Version, 2005) A name becomes what it is by the way it is lived out. The individual or the company with the name cannot define its reputation, for it is the people around them who are the judges. The individual or the company can lead the direction of the people’s thoughts by how he or it acts. An evil person will be deemed evil, and a righteous person will be deemed righteous. William Pollard says, “What’s in our name? A rich heritage and legacy of the past and also a purpose and direction for the future. It is both valuable and fragile. It can be used or abused.

It is an intangible asset of the firm. ”(Pollard, 2006) Here Pollard is speaking of the company he once ran which can also be applied to a human name. Within business etiquette, if your name is already in shambles, the person whom you are trying to relate with will want nothing to do with you. This is why the Bible says in Ephesians, “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ”(New International Version, 2005) A character who makes a name for themselves is usually a person who contains many great attributes.

Most of all, he is a person who has learned for themselves the value of life and the secret of joyful living. The great thing about being a Christian, is knowing what one is working for and why. Let’s clarify though, that a Christian does not attain salvation by works, but rather by a relationship with Christ. Once a person becomes a Christian, they learn and want to be workmen for Christ Jesus. Ephesians says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ”(New International Version, 2005) As a Christian then, it is important to work for God and His glory.

A true believer would find joy in the workrather than it being a nuisance. There is a saying that if you enjoy your job, you’ll never work another day. Many people do not have such an attitude about their job and this negativity can be very unhealthy in a workplace. David Stewards says, “That kind of thinking not only makes work boring and tedious, it causes stress and sometimes leads to health problems. In addition, a negative person in the workplace can hurt the morale of coworkers. The negative effect can extend to customers and vendors. (Stewards, 2004) As can be seen, negativity in a workplace can have far more reaching effects then realized. Within business etiquette, how a person carries themselves and displays their demeanor is a crucial know-how. By displaying the joy of work, one can usually spread the ‘joy bug’ to the coworkers around them. Another way people view work is as deadlines, tedious tasks, large projects and just another paycheck. When viewed that way, it is impossible for work not to seem awful. One author says, “Beauty inspires hope, and provides a reason for seeing differently.

Business can be beautiful, which is part of the reason it so engages our lives and imagination. ”(Costa, 2005) Christians are meant to find joy in work, despite the type of work that it is. Gains and losses can apply for more than just capital, money and profits. Every time a decision to act in one way or another is made, it affects a gain or a loss in our standings with others. One author has described these standings as a spiritual capital account. Ken Eldred proposed an account like a bank account which can grow or shrink with deposits or withdrawals. The spiritual capital currency that is deposited (or withdrawn) is the exercise (or lack of exercise) of biblical principles: integrity, accountability, honesty, hope, love, trust, stewardship, fairness, order, loyalty, service, and so forth. ”(Eldred, 2005) Christian businessmen, as stated earlier are held to a higher standard and are called to be leaders within their workplace. This is how business builds a good rapport with their customers. Even if this does not help them to get ahead in their financial standing, it helps them increase in their popularity standings.

It is not always easy to do the right thing, and it is also not always easy to know what the right thing is. This is why God has instilled us with that all so small little voice (Holy Spirit) which speaks and guides us. Steward says, “Let’s give credit where credit is due. What people call a gut feeling isn’t what they think. I believe what we label an innate response is actually spiritually inspired. ”(Steward, 2004) In business, people have to make quick choices on their feet, and it is important to make the right choices. Etiquette is about saying the right things at the right time so as to be competent or at least appear that way.

We are to be diligent in what and how we say or approach people. The book of James says, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. ”(New International Version, 2005) Money is yet another important topic, but one might wonder how money relates to etiquette. The society runs on money. Money is the fuel that makes our world go round and round. The way a Christian spends, makes, and views money reflects that persons understanding of its purpose.

It also reflects on how he views his job, why he works and how hard he works. “The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. ”(New International Version, 2005) Christians are called to give freely for everything we have comes from the Lord. “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it. ”(New International Version, 2005) A Roman Catholic Priest named Paoli had associated money with grace. It probably could not be better explained then in the terms Paoli has provided. “Money represents an exchange of potentialities that depends on trust and circulates hope.

None of us create money. We may earn and grow it, but like grace it is a value that exists beyond any one of us – that we participate in without any particular merit, and that ultimately passes through us. ” (Costa, 2005) Money provides security; it gives hope to some and ideas of grandeur to others. When money is scarce, despair starts setting in, stress amounts, and pressures build allowing for fear to dominate the life. For a Christian, money is a tool for God’s purpose, and a Christian should not be afraid of finance shortages.

By being an example in the workplace and by showing good stewardship of money, a person can have great influence on the coworkers in the workplace. “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? ”(New International Version, 2005) Just as for any business man or company, increasing personal or shareholder wealth is the most important aspect of business.

In order to attain this goal of any successful company, strategic vision is an essential element. “A strategic vision thus points an organization in a particular direction, charts a strategic path, and molds organizational identity. ”(Thompson, Strickland & Gamble, 2007) For a Christian, a strategic vision comes from the Lord. Christians are called to follow God in all that they do with a mind set and understanding that God has the best plans for them. “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ”(New International Version, 2005) God is a God of love, and he wants the best for his people. If the people come to him and just ask, He will provide for them and share with them His thoughts. “For God to do the outrageous through us, we need to be in agreement with Him and have a clear vision of where we are going. We need to identify how God is working to further His Kingdom so that we can pull in the same direction. ”(Eldred, 2005) Without this vision, the people are like sheep stranded in the wilderness without direction or a way back home. A mission statement is what defines a company, but without a vision, there can be no mission.

Every mission has an end goal; this end goal is the vision being discussed. When it comes to leading people, vision is a necessity. “I strongly believe that in order to lead, one must have a vision. It’s the vision that provides the leader and his organization with direction. The lack of a vision is akin to raveling across the country with no roadmap and no destination. As a result, you turn in this direction, then go that way, meandering everywhere. ”(Steward, 2004) Here is a very important question when it comes to being aligned with God’s vision. “How can you know God’s plans without knowing Him? A person, who does not spend time with God, doesn’t know God; therefore doesn’t have His vision. Jesus tells us in John, “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me. ”(New International Version, 2005) As stated in the previous paragraph, it is really hard to know God without spending time and walking with Him. Walking consistently with God is the next stage of getting to know him and his business plans an individual’s life. Christians are called to live their life with Christ as their partner, brother, father, wife, etc… John Costa points out a resemblance of how one is to live, that with the life of Christ. As suggested earlier, Jesus taught, preached and embodied a ‘double and’ theology. In every interaction or experience – for every decision or response – he insisted that binary exclusions be broken and that the intimate, loving presence of God be made near and dear. ”(Costa, 2005) An important lesson to grasp from this is that people cannot do anything on their own. Every ability and success comes from the Lord. Proverbs says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (New International Version, 2005) Also, “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. ”(New International Version, 2005) Walking in wisdom is another way of saying walking with God. For a Christian business man, losing sight of God could easily mislead the man down the wrong path. Many Christians claim to know God and to walk with Him. But many Christians are also fooling themselves and others around them. Sometimes these so-called Christian people know they are doing this, but sometimes they are truly buying into their own lie.

The real test of walking with God comes when a man or a woman comes to a fork in the road. Not just a normal fork with easy decisions about which market to enter and such; this is too easy. The fork spoken of here has one road which takes them to United States and the other one to Mexico. Or to put it simply, they can either chose God or their business. If the business is heading in a direction away from God, what should one do? If a person is ordered to act in a way that goes against God’s thinking, what actions should they take? Our nation has a rich heritage of great Americans who risked their lives to stand up for their beliefs. ”(Steward, 2004) Another business person says, “We seek to honor God as an end goal and recognize that growing profitably is a means goal. ”(Pollard, 2006) If people chose idols such as success, money, and prestige over God, in the end God will not recognize them for loving him above all. The penalties for not choosing God could be even far worse than expected. “Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles? Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers. ”(New International Version, 2005) Walking away from what is known to be wrong is walking towards God. Choosing Jesus shows real faith and real commitment. When a person lives out their beliefs with their actions, it is called integrity. People with integrity can be trusted and relied on to do as they say. Christians are not supposed to be afraid of what others think of them when it comes to choosing between right and wrong. Jesus says, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

If you belong to the world, it would love you as its own. ”(New International Version, 2005) A great verse to summarize this paragraph is found in Matthews 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. ”(New International Version, 2005) Many people would ask what some of the above paragraphs have to do with business etiquette. The answer to that question can be summarized in the following way: Etiquette is the interactions between people.

People follow and lead by seeing or setting examples for one another. Christian business etiquette requires a higher standard to live by. In order to live by these standards, different outlooks on life have to be grasped and understood. For a Christian, these outlooks are associated with a life lived for Jesus Christ. In order to live a Christ filled life, certain practices and choices are required. These practices and choices, if done correctly, achieve the end goal of intertwining of God and business etiquette. By joining of God and etiquette together, types of pure actions and motives are produced.

John Costa says in his book, Magnificence at Work, “Small things matter because any company or person that settles for less than magnificence in effect collaborates with the opposing multiplication of meanness. ”(Costa, 2005) If the logic above is not simple enough, the following sentence should help: Christians are to display God in all that they do and say, this includes etiquette. References Costa, J. D. (2005). Magnificence at Work: Living Faith in Business. MontrA©al: Novalis. Eldred, K. (2005). God is at Work: Transforming People and Nations Through Business. Ventura, CA: Regal Books.

Gamble, J. E. , J. , A. , Thompson, A. , & Strickland, I. (2009). Crafting & Executing Strategy: Text and Readings (17 ed. ). Boston: Mcgraw-Hill College. Lewis, C. S. (2001). The Weight of Glory (New Ed ed. ). SanFrancisco: HarperSanFrancisco. Pollard, C. W. (2006). Serving Two Masters? : Reflections on God and Profit. New York: Harperbusiness. Shook, R. L. , & Steward, D. (2004). Doing Business by the Good Book: Fifty-Two Lessons on Success Sraight from the Bible (1st ed. ). New York: Hyperion. Zondervan. (2006). NIV Thinline Brown/Nero Black – FCS. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.

He has intro on Ariel as well, Prosper uses him to do anything he wants, when Ariel asks Prosper about his freedom Prosper becomes angry and threatens Ariel by saying he will open an oak tree and put him inside. Prosper wants to even control Ferdinand when he reminds him he cannot have sex with his daughter before marriage due to the fact that then (Shakespeare time) people were very much religious oriented and sex before marriage was forbidden. At first I assumed Prosper is an evil man for causing The Tempest, but I feel that he loves Miranda, Ariel and Clinical in different ways.

Prosper loves his daughter very much and old do anything to protect her and it shows this perfectly when he said “l have done nothing but in care of thee, of thee my dear one”. Prosper likes to show Miranda that anything he does is to protect her, “l have done nothing expect to protect you, protect you” and we specifically know this when Clinical wanted to rape Miranda. Prosper has two servants who are Arial and Clinical. When Prosper calls Ariel “My Ariel” this may be interpreted as endearment and caring like one would say to a child.

Although we can say that Prosper is saying that because he owns Arial rather than being a fatherly figure. Ariel is an obedient servant, when he said “what shall I do? Say what? What shall I do? ” When Prosper reminds Ariel that he released him from inside of a pine tree, Ariel effectively owes him a great debt and therefore Prosper is in a dictating position. When Clinical says “thou strokes me” it seems that Prosper loves him as well. When Prosper came to the island he found Clinical a deformed savage and tried to teach him language. L loved thee” this shows that Clinical loves Prosper as well, because he helped Clinical to understand their language and gave him water with berries in it. Clinical showed Prosper all of the elites of the island like the desert, the fresh springs, the fertile and salt water pits as a tour guide. I think that Arial and Clinical both don’t want to be Prospered servants anymore, because they want to be free. I believe that Arial is trying to be free from Prosper in a positive way, but Clinical want to be free in a negative way, because I think he is going to kill Prosper.

Prosper has a strange personality, it seems he did not trust his daughter because it took him many years to finally explain to Miranda what actually had happened in the past. This may well be down too lack f communication or because he simply felt she was not old enough to understand but we can see when he finds his daughter loves Ferdinand, Prosper agrees they can get married and he told Ferdinand “l have given you here a third of mine own life”. Miranda is very kind. “O, the cry did knock against my very heart! ” this shows that Miranda is very kind and she cares about people.

She likes them and she wants Family Relationship in The Tempest By muscleman to try to help them. A though Miranda is upset by what near tanner NAS done, seen still respects him, “My dearest father. ” This shows that she is very respectful and she Ares about her father’s fillings as she doesn’t want him to get upset. She may be respectful to her father as in Shakespearean time children were grown with the idea of being respectful to their parents. She might also be so kind and caring to her father, because it might be in her personality.

I can see a more modern version of relationship between parents and children in the Gillian Clarke poem, ‘Citric’. This is a different relationship as opposed to The Tempest. The poem highlights the differences between mother and child and the common problems parents have with their children and include two stanzas. First stanza is in the past tense (before giving birth). This could suggest the ever-present and continuing nature of their love. Except the name of poem she never named her daughter she uses child in the first line unnamed child possibly hinting at the universality of the theme.

The first section deals with the mother before and during labor and the second relates to after birth which includes child growing up as a dependent entity. The phrase “The people and cars taking turn at the traffic lights” makes me think of the imagery relating this to intermittent pain while in labor. The red robe in the poem refers to the umbilical rod which maybe symbolizes as physical and emotional in a sense that mother and child are physically connected through the cord but simultaneously there is the rope of love in the imagery sense.

Lines sixteen and seventeen We’ at this point the mother and child have become separate. They have their own wills which foreshadows the conflict that comes later on. This is continued with the idea that they wanted to be two’ together or to be two separate people as well: to be ourselves’. The second stanza refers to after math of child’s birth, Clarke again brings up the idea of love and conflict being irresistibly entwined. When her daughter is a manager and asks to go out in the dark, Clarke says ‘That old rope’ about my life, trailing love and conflict. That old rope’ shows that the bond, though broken physically, is still there and will always be there in her ‘heart’s pool’ which again shows the endless love that a mother will have for her child. The two topics represent relationships, in the poem, between mother and daughter and in The Tempest between father and daughter. The relationship in the Tempest is more controlling, although Prosper love his daughter but he has more control instead of care as it was written in the seventeenth century by Shakespeare, the tradition then implied as such. Children were more respectful of parents and didn’t oppose them in the way they do today.

Prospered approach to Marinara’s marriage at first glance seems somewhat reluctant, yet I believe because of his love for Miranda, he expresses his consent. As far as Slacker’s poem is concerned, motherly love is combined with anxiety. Although Clarke knows her daughter being out in the dark skating and she is posed by little or no danger, yet she opposes her daughter because she is anxious. In the modern world the relationships are to some extent redefined as opposed to the era when Shakespeare lived. In general children have less respect for their parents now.

As far as my understanding of The Tempest and Gillian Clacks poem is concerned is that they both follow the feelings we all have hidden inside; love, hate, fear, fury, anxiety, control, revenge, kind, obedient, caring and so on. In The Tempest the relationships are complex. Initially one assumes Prosper to be a resentful and revenging person. As the story develops, Prosper leading his enemies into the island for the purpose of taking revenge, yet, we see Prosper changing course as he quenches his anger and departs from magic and a ensue of love and forgiveness prevails upon him, he starts to become a loving, forgiving and generous person.

The Tempest was the last story Shakespeare wrote. The most prominent character in the story by far is Prosper. To me is seems Shakespeare is reflecting his own emotions in the story in the role of Prosper. Perhaps Shakespeare himself had gone through similar scenarios in real life which led him write this story. Although I believe Prosper had some kind of faith which rendered him change his approach, yet it is important to mention that religion was more predominant compared to today.

Child abuse is a topic that causes rage in many discussions throughout he county because it is outrageous actions against innocent children. Many parents question whether discipline can become child abuse. In the essay “Justice: Childhood Love Lessons” the author, Bell Hooks, shows how love should occur all around one’s household and claims that, “No one can rightfully claim to be loving when behaving abusively” (Hooks, 1 1). To an extent, that is true. However, in my opinion, maintain that this assertion can be right or wrong, depends on how people perceive about love and punishment.

Bell Hooks is an educated woman, feminist, and writer who has dedicated her life to teaching people about civil rights that every human being deserves. She wrote an essay in which she addresses her personal view on the way children should not be hit under any circumstances, because it neglects love; according to her, love and abuse cannot coexist. However, it is unfair to claim that a slap on the hand is considered abuse, and that if parents commit this type of action, they do not love their child.

There is a huge difference between physical punishment and child abuse. A child needs to learn right from wrong, and when the child’s actions turn out of control, it s acceptable to pk or hit them in the hand. As long as the hitting stays to a minimum degree, physical punishment is not child abuse. Sometimes, the parents may unintentionally abuse their child because of teaching their parents taught them. They claim to be “loving’ while carrying out punishment, and that would absolutely confuse a child on what love and abuse is.

To educate a child, sometimes the punishment is necessary, but the extent of violence carried out to supply the discipline can be considered as abusive. Those physical acts are carried out, such as hitting, slapping, or pinching, cannot be called a “loving action. When kids were whipped and told that these punishments were ‘for their own good,” or “parents are doing this because they love their children,” would definitely be misunderstood when they are told they are being whipped because they are being loved.

It is manipulative and sends the wrong message to the children. According to Hooks, “There is nothing that creates more confusions about love in the minds and hearts of children that unkind and/or cruel punishment meted out by the adults they have been taught they should love and respect. ” (Hooks, 1) The mindsets for the kids are overlooked in a caddish way. Their approach would be like, “Oh, I can hit everyone whenever want”, which this shows the child growing up to be an overall abusive kid living over her or his childhood actions.

Overall, there kids perceptions would be the same and think it is alright to do the something and hit anyone at anytime they want. The parents are messing up their child’s childhood of learning from right to wrong. In fact, pking a child the first time shows an overall lesson so that the next time they will think about actions before they act. In some way, kids are still kids, they make mistakes and learn from it which shows them not to CT it up again. Continue on pking them anytime whenever they do something wrong would leave wounded not only on their bodies but also in their hearts and minds.

As young children to becoming young adults, Thai concept would stick with them forever and travel with them when they become older and have kids of their own, and this is not a good example to leave on their kids. Loving is supposed to be a good feeling that brings warmth and security to the heart and reminds of wonderful things. If a boy hitting his girlfriend but telling her that he is hitting her because he loves her, he girlfriend would feel uncertain because loving is supposed to be sweet and wonderful, not hurtful-As the same point, it is wrong to tell a child that they are being loved when they are being abused or punished.

Claiming to be “loving’ while being abusive is as bad as telling someone that you love them, and then pushing them off a cliff to their death. “No one can rightfully claim to be loving when behaving abusively/’ (Hooks, 1). In this statement, Hooks declared that if a parent is hitting their child, then they are showing no love towards the child. In somehow, disagree with Hooks because she uses the word abuse in such a negative form throughout her whole essay. What exactly does “behaving abusively’ mean?

If a person sees the words, “behaving abusively’ the person might be thinking a child was hit in the face and now the child has a black eye, which is abuse. However, Hooks takes the definition of “behaving abusively’ as any type of hitting even if it’s the least amount of pain like a slap on the hand, which is not abuse. It is natural for a parent to punish there children in one way or another during their childhood. Children are naughty and naturally misbehave, and they Anton help it because they are learning what is appropriate and inappropriate.

In other words punishment of any kind, let it be pinching, flicking or pking will result in disorientation in a child’s mind. This statement is true to some people, false to others, but overall hooks tends to be bias in her argument. She doesn’t explore the different variations of physical punishment and how these punishments affect the child’s thought about love. There are many different types Of punishment out there in this cruel world, but not all of them can disorientate a child’s mind or heart about eve.

Simple physical punishments; such as pinching, flicking, and pking, are carried out on us at a very young age, and all throughout life. Our parents are here to discipline us, to teach us the difference of right and wrong. When we first misbehave, our parents might tell us to “knock it off’ or “stop” and they may raise their voice when asserting these commands. We sometimes stop when told to, but sometimes we ignore their commands and keep misbehaving repeatedly. This is where physical punishment comes into play. A form of physical punishment would and will be carried out on us.

At first it may be a simple punishment, but gradually the punishments intensify. Once a punishment has been carried out, many of us become cloaked in fear of punishment and from this fear we learn not to do that mistake again. Simple punishment is used for the good of children and to discipline them, “Dry. David Safari, father five and grandfather of five, CNN asked him to talk to us about his views on pking. He said he was pked as a child, pked his own children when necessary and believes the occasional use of physical punishment not abuse can be an effective tool for parents. Giddier) Now, not all parents are abusive. Some discipline by pking or punishing them in a form Of a time-out or taking away of a privilege. As long as the punishment does not fit a crime, it is fine to discipline a child. All parents experience a time that they have to punish their children, but it is not because they hate or dislike them, but because the children need to learn and the punishment is carried out to teach them that what they did was wrong. Bell Hooks writes, “Why was harsh punishment a gesture of love? ” (Hooks, 1) Harsh punishment is hundred percent not a gesture of love.

It is a gesture of force in which a parent wants their child to listen to them and behave. Light punishment is a tool of teaching and is carried out of love. Punishment itself is not considered as a gesture of love, but may result because of care, a sub-genre of love. Claiming to be loving while behaving abusively is not correct, and is an ironic statement. Parents often do not know the consequences of confusing their children by using great words that do not belong in a situation such as abuse. And as the result, it will misunderstand the children and make them difficult to overcome in many years later.

No one knows what is in him till he tries, and many would never try if they were not forced to. “- Basil W. Maturing To achieve personal fulfillment and/or enlightenment can be a very daunting and some Individuals may never achieve It before they die. The feel of peace Inside of oneself will allow an Individual to love with no restraints but not be blinded towards Ill- doings. An individual may be secure enough with themselves, it allows them help there see their true worth and beauty; it is quite easy for them to see the beauty in the majority of aspects.

This is the most complex of situations and usually is the base out of the three aspects and usually can control the professional and romantic relationships. “The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved” – Victor Hugo It is said that when a person is in love that the brain produces chemical processes that determine how one feels or the mood of a person. There are a few Doctors that live that being in love has tremendous effect on a person’s health, for the better.

With the body releasing hormones (such as dopamine and extinction) that actually send signals throughout the body of feelings of trust, pleasure, safety, and the list are not. If there were more people in this world that was happy within their romantic relationships, there would be less domestic violence; in many cases, escalates into murder of not only the significant other but to the children as well. When a couple is happy and confident in their relationship, it can be empowering.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. “- Mahatma Gandhi. It is greatly disconcerting that there are so many people that are hurting, for some reason or another, and the only way they feel as if they can express themselves, is to inflict pain onto others. Another great quote is “misery loves company’- John Ray I am sure that the majorities of people have experienced this in some way, shape, or form in a period of their lives.

People have been wondering what the secret to life is; there will be a variety of answers given if asked. If I were asked my answer would sound so easy but very difficult to achieve, it is as simple as true happiness’ and this can only come from within, not from another individual or object. Unfortunately people do not know this so they continue to search for it and in the process; they miss some really great moments in life. To die never living up to the expectations that one sets for them, would seem like an agonizing way to leave this world.

Another drop of sweat dropped down my forehead and off the end of my nose as my eyes moved vigorously behind my dark shades. “Oh what a lovely pair!” I thought to myself, however I seemed to have thought out loud rather than to myself. My curious wife, who was lying on her sun bed next to me queried: “A lovely pair of what?”

“A lovely pair of sunglasses, they are great at keeping out the glare.” I was getting rather bored on his sunbathing outing to the beach, so I decided to take some money out of the wife’s purse and head up towards the main town, where I could have a beverage and possibly a bite to eat. To get up towards the bars and restaurants I had to cross over a main and very busy road, there were always mopeds rushing by, not even giving you the slightest of chances to cross over. Even though there are plenty of zebra crossings throughout the resort’s roads, I think that the locals just assume that the black and white stripes across the street are a nice decoration.

Finally I managed to get to the other side of the mad obstacle. It would have been a good twenty-minute stroll up past some tacky old souvenir shops until I reached the exciting part of the holiday resort.

Another drop of sweat dropped down my forehead and off the end of my nose as my eyes moved vigorously behind my dark shades. “Oh what a lovely pair…I’ll have to get hold of them.” I thought to myself while looking in a shoe shop, at the young lady on the till. Unfortunately, I must have thought a little on the loud side. An elderly lady, who was stood behind my asked: “A lovely pair of what?”

So I replied, “A lovely pair of moccasins, I’m sure they would keep out the rain, and not rub your feet the first time you wear them!”

I continued with my trip, from the shops to the main shopping centre of the holiday resort. There were lots of clothes and designer gear in these shops; they were the upper class stores of the Spanish town. I fancied a new pair of trousers as the ones that I was wearing were a little on the small side and were beginning to go a little on the shiny side, a bit like the tradition of schoolboy’s trousers, short and shiny.

I started to browse each designer store, on my search for a new pair of nice looking trousers, within my tight price range of course. I certainly could not afford any of the clothes in these upper class shops; I come from a lower class household back home in England. I thought to myself, “I can’t be dreaming about these clothes, I’ve got to look for a respectful charity shop such as Oxfam or even Scope.” But then I realised that we are in Spain here, not England. I was sure that in this foreign country they wouldn’t know what I was on about if I asked directions for a charity shop!

I decided that it would be a good idea to give the local bookshop a small visit to purchase a Spanish phrase book. So I headed towards the book shop, that wasn’t too far away from where I was, just a couple of hundred yards away from the designer shops in this shopping mall.

I arrived at the shop and noticed that it was closed for lunch, but it reopened within five minutes. So I went to buy a sandwich from across the way. I sat down on a relatively new bench that was situated right outside of the bookshop, munching away at the sandwich. I came across quite a few grizzly and rather chewy bits of ham, they were spat straight out. By the time I had finished eating what could have been eaten of the sandwich, the bookshop was open. I entered the shop and asked the sales assistant whether he sold phrase books. He spoke perfect English, so this task was not too much trouble for me at all. I followed the man to what seemed like an educational section of the shop. He picked up a phrase book off the shelf and gave it to me to have a look. I decided to buy the book I paid in cash.

I exited the posh shopping mall and headed up towards the small, tacky old souvenir shops. I took the same route as earlier on. I came across a young man, who looked well educated; he was in a business suit with a lovely pair of trousers on. I was going to ask him where he bought his trousers, but then noticed what a silly thing that would be. I could have asked him where the nearest charity shop was, but he would have thought that I was a scruff or something, in the end I decided to just ask the man for the time.

I was trying to pick someone out of the passing crowd who was normal looking, and not an over-paid businessman. After a good five minutes of searching I decided to approach an old lady, she was wearing some old and tatty clothes, to be honest, they looked as though they were bought from some kind of charity shop or car boot sale. So I caught eye contact with the lady and asked, “Hay una tienda caridad por aqui?” Which in English means, “is there a charity shop around here?”

The lady replied, “Si, esta a la derecha” which means, “Yes, it’s on the right.”

So I looked to my right and there it was, a small charity shop, not up to as good as a standard as the ones home in England, but it still sold the same type of goods and proceedings went to a charity in the local area. As it was very hot outside, I dedicated myself to purchasing a pair of Hawaiian shorts rather than a nice pair of trousers. I tried them on in the fitting room, they were slightly loose and baggy, but this didn’t bother me as I had heard my nephew talking about how good it is to have baggy shorts, I thought that these would pull the girls and would be a cool fashion accessory.

I walked over, in a cool way to the counter; I looked in the mirror and said to myself “Wow baby, you look sexy in those!” I pointed to the phrase in my phrase book that translated to “How much?” and I was pretty much surprised at the cheapness of the garment, 250 pesetas, that is around �1 in English money. I handed over the money and the lady gave me a used plastic bag to put my old trousers in. I exited the shop.

As I started to walk up towards the bars and restaurants, in my cool stroll, I got the impression that people were pointing and laughing at me. I soon realised that there was one huge draft coming in from the rear end of my new shorts, there was a great big hole in the back of them. No wonder they were so cheap!

I started to go excessively red in the cheeks, I felt like curling up into a small ball and going into none-existence. Looking for a public toilet, the draft was becoming increasingly gusty. I found a nice little local caf�, so I thought that I would give the toilet a bit of custom, while I made a quick change of pants. The bar was full of locals; they greeted me in a warm fashion, until I walked past them, towards the toilet. The whole place just burst out with laughter. Not pleased with the fact that people could humiliate me in such a way, I locked the door behind me and got changed as soon as possible.

Another drop of sweat dripped down my forehead and off the end of my nose as my eyes moved vigorously behind my dark shades. “Oh what a lovely pair!” I celebrated at the top of my voice. I had learnt my lesson the hard way, “Don’t buy items from foreign charity shops ever, ever again, at least if you don’t want to be ripped off.

I ran out of the local caf� and headed towards some English bars. I ordered a large Scotch.

After my session in the bar, I flagged down a taxi from the main road and took a ride back to the beach. There was my angry wife, she had the properties of a raging bull, and some Germans had stolen our sun beds by draping their towels over them while she was bathing. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried out of my mind.” My curious, hag of a wife asked.

So I looked at her with a frustrated expression on my face. I produced the dodgy pair of shorts from the used plastic bag that the lady in the shop had given to me. My wife asked, “What is wrong with those? They look fine to me.”

“What? I asked furiously. “These shorts have me more bother in the last couple of hours than you have since our marriage, it is unbelievable.”

My wife still couldn’t see the ‘slight’ imperfection in the garment, so I decided to point it out to her. “Now do you see what is wrong with them?”

The look on her face was outstanding, I wish I had my two for the price of one disposable camera with me; it would have made a great picture for her fiftieth birthday in the local newspaper. We both laughed together, she still brings that point up now, twenty years on.

I should never have stayed with this woman; I should have approached the babe on the beach earlier on, or even the stunner in the shoe shop for that matter!

Another drop of sweat dripped down my forehead and off the end of my nose as my eyes moved vigorously behind my dark shades…

Summary of “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love” In the essay “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love”, Stephanie Coontz surveys the history of marriage throughout the world, revealing its historical purposes and the philosophies surrounding it. Coontz gives examples of how once people married for utility, necessity, and social advantages. She explains how over time and through the changing ideas about love and the sexes that people now marry for love, companionship, and personal happiness. Before modern time the idea of marrying for love was discouraged.

Men and women participated in arranged marriages or married for reasons of practicality rather than affection. Some considered marital love a hindrance to more valued relationships between family and god; whereas in modern time it is expected that you put your spouse before any other family member or obligation. Although some cultures believed that love would develop after marriage, it was not a requirement for a successful marriage as it is today; the measurement of a successful marriage then was financial prosperity and healthy children.

Historically in some instances love was meant only for a mistress or concubine, not a wife or husband. In some parts of the world there is no marital exclusivity that we see in modern Europe and America. In these places, men and women take multiple wives or husbands, or even extra marital sexual partners without the jealousy that would surely arise in modern relationships. In these places multiple partners are acceptable because they benefit the family in providing for children and in sharing responsibility.

Coontz attributes the shift in martial expectations from marrying for practicality to marrying for love, to the social enlightenments, political revisions, and financial changes that occurred from the 17th century forward. She states that, “basing marriage on love and companionship represented a break with thousands of years of tradition”. These breaks in tradition lead to many new fears about the future of marriage, the family, and how its new structure would affect society. Ultimately these changes would “pose a serious threat to the stability of the new system of marriage. ”

Gulper makes a choice by omitting suicide, when she finds out that Magna was forced too find a different wife. She keeps Masks flute under her Departs, which always reminds her of him, and his love to her, Outer / Inner Characterization Outer- There is not told about her apprentice, except a “Departs” which is a cloth, that Indies girls wear for different accessions. Silver rings Inner- Very happy, homesick, proud, very happy for “Mare” True love, Development Gulper, develops a lot of feelings for Magna, so strong that It ends in a tragic event.

Her obsession Is stronger then life it ‘s self. Her love for Magna is stronger the the lifework Its self. Magna Gluer’s Husband Magna, is the husband too Gulper, Hess been married too her for seven years, He has a responsibility, in the family to move their generation , and his mother is aware of that they have been together for many years, and still there has not been any progress in making a baby, which results in Guilder’s death. Outer/inner Characterization Outer- none Inner- Nervous, Afraid , lost in thoughts,Respect for family “mother” Daydreamer Submissive role, passive,emotional

Magna develop his own true feelings, when the newborn baby that was place on his lap, all Hess feels, ends in chaos, as he releases his true feeling in his heart for Gulper by yelling and screaming “take him away he smells of Kerosene” in the end, he docent really develop himself in a positive way but in a negative in the truth in his heart for Gulper love that been lost forever. Vivian Manna’s friend Vivian is a friend of Magna and brings the message about Guilder’s death, this news, brings a lot of pain into Manna’s heart and soul.

Magna and Vivian, has a story together since, they knew each other from past “the fair” which comes every seven years,Vivian, and Magna have a very close relationship as friends, since he has a flute, like Magna does. Outer-Small bundle on his shoulder/flute, Haunches Inner- Feeling uneasy, unsure, feeling bad, Manna’s Mother Actions The mother has full control over Magna and controls him, she is ashamed of the fact that Gulper is destitute of offspring and she seek a wife for him, that can bear her child by paying for it, she forgets about his feelings.

Outer/inner Characterizations Inner-Demanding, Cold hearted. Careless Settings and Time Physical setting The event occurs in small village called Lackawanna that is located outside Champ which is in India, The village that Gulper lives in is on a high ground, and there is a road that curves and descends, steeply downhill. And from that point you can see Champ. The stores takes part different place outside Champ, realistic or unrealistic environment the events that take place in this story are all realistic.

Environment details There are a lot of mountains, in this area, many steep curves and slopes, small villages around. Atmosphere It gives you the impression of that, they people live in a very hot, place, since India is a very tropical and hot environment. Characters influenced by the environment Guilder’s parents, live in Champ that shows, they are city people, Magna and Gulper live outside the city of Champ in a small village.

This shows that when young people get married in India, they get to live in some small hut outside the city, where they have too take care of them self s. Just like husband and wife. Social Setting Guilder’s parents are part of the middle / uppercases, people, It seems like parents ho choose their children marriage, are about the same middle / upper-class people and when the ceremony is done, they “happy’ married couple are being downgraded into living in a low/middle class environment.

Where they are forced too live as husband and wife, with a task that is demand, and this task is having a baby. Time The story its self progress its self trough out 2 days, where Manna’s friend comes by, about long past, 7 years back, we get window into the past of a married couple. In other words, we get a lot of history about this couple until present day, and the happening of a tragic event.

Narrator / Point of view The story is being switched between, 3′ rd person and 1 person, there is a story teller, and we get into the characters as they intact with each other trough out the story, and then we get back too the 3 ‘rd person. There’s a bit off mix, and a little bit of omniscient in the story teller. The main character of the story is Magna, since he is the one who gets influenced, trough out the whole story by all the people around him, Gurgle has a important part in this story, since she the one who affects Magna the most in the end.

Composition / Plot Title Stench of Kerosene, 1965 The Title indicates, a very strong symbol of that very tragic and dramatic event can occur in point’s off woman’s/girls life or in the matter of fact, everyone’s life, when people get into a point where there is no turning back, that means, “point of no return” it can lead into a very horrific scenario, with actuality this title shows, we see it in the news, and we see it happen on TV, people setting them self on fire for reasons of desperate and urgent, matters, like no food, no work.