Marriage

You may consider your parents choosing your spouse a bad and outrageous idea, but in the long run, would it? People should consider arranged marriages because whoever is chosen just may be the perfect match, it may be what your parents want, or it is just an old tradition/custom. McBirney states that arranged marriages are common, especially in the 21st century. I am for arranged marriages.

The first reason why I support arranged marriages is because whoever your parents choose may be the perfect match. Surendra states, “I am thankful for the fact that papa insisted I talk to him.” Surendra talks about how charismatic he is and how much she likes him and his personality. This show that although your marriage is arranged, it just may be the person you been dreaming of.

Secondly, arranged marriage may be what your parent(s) want and it may eventually work in the future. Surendra states, ” For the past five years, my papa brought proposals to me for marriage, and somehow I couldn’t seem to settle down with any of them.” At first, she did not want it but later Surendra realizes it was for the best and she also realized that her dad made a good choice.

Lastly, it may be a custom within religion or race. McBirney states, “Most modern arranged marriages take place in the Middle East and the Far East, in countries like Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, India, Bangladesh, Japan, and others. It has become less popular in places like China over the past few decades, as the culture rapidly Westernizes and young people are beginning to value individual choice more than family traditions and preferences.” Some time parents like to choose rich people so they don’t have to worry about the child’s financial security.

Although some people believe that arranged marriages should not be allowed, because they think the child should have the say on who they commit to but that just maybe there a way of life. You should respect their custom as you would want them to respect yours. In conclusion, arranged marriages should be allowed because you never know if its the right person for you, if that’s what your parents want, or if it’s a custom. That is why arranged marriages should be ok.

In Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, there are many examples of women—patient, amorous or unfaithful—but then there’s the Wife of Bath. Her very existence breaks form with modern misconceptions of medieval society and raises questions about her nature as well as the role of women in the fourteenth century.

A persistent modern sentiment is that medieval women only had control over domestic matters which is no small chore, with a certain amount of status, but there are several accounts of women having even greater prestige. The fact that Chaucer presents so many different women in his work, who freely voice their thoughts and ideas, suggests that women had a very real role in the society of the late fourteenth century, one not limited to nuns and wives. Chaucer argues through the Wife of Bath that women must have agency in order to achieve gender balance; he reflects the progressive tenor of the late fourteenth century rather than challenging embedded misogyny.

The fourteenth century afforded many different opportunities for women and Chaucer, in his role as a tax collector, diplomat, and soldier would have encountered, interacted with and served every type of them throughout his life. He interacted with women of high birth, the wives and daughters of merchants, (and some who were merchants themselves), widows, and peasant women who worked just as hard as their husbands and sons to make sure that their household could thrive.

Chaucer’s experience was not unique. Women had far more agency than many modern critics suggest and the Wife of Bath represents the complexity of gender position in fourteenth century England. She is a traveler, a weaver, a business woman with a lust for life – and a widow: “Hose-bins at kirke dore shay hade feeve,/Withouten oother companeea in youthe-“ (Chaucer ll 460-61).

She is described by Chaucer as being extremely fashionable wearing “coverchiefs ful fena weren of ground” and “hosen wearen of fyn scarlet reeda,/Ful streite e-tied, and shoes ful moyste and newe” (Chaucer ll 453, 456-457) as well as slightly deaf. Widows, like Alisoun of Bath, had a great deal of agency and so many were reluctant to relinquish that authority by taking another husband.

This trend begins as early as the twelfth century, and continued on throughout the Middle Ages. For example, Matilda, wife of Ranulf II Earl of Chester, and the daughter of Henry I’s illegitimate son, Robert, Earl of Gloucester retained custody of her six-year-old son Hugh II upon Ranulf’s death in 1153. She began to issue charters of her own as well as joint charters with her son. She was an extremely powerful woman.

For Chaucer, 200 years after Matilda, independent women were nothing new. In her 1995 book on Medieval Women, Henrietta Leyser argues that “conservative estimates put widows in charge of at least 10 per cent of medieval English households” (Leyser 168). On one hand widows were perceived biblically as objects of respect and charity while on the other they were perceived as promiscuous and greedy.

Chaucer addresses this view by extolling The Wife of Bath’s virtues as a business woman, showing that she is independently wealthy and a successful clothier, having clothes that rival those of Ypres and Ghent, Flemish cities known for their quality textiles. Widowhood was anticipated, and the law regarding widows was very beneficial.

According to the Glanvill, a twelfth century legal text, the term ‘at the church door’ refers to the act of a man endowing his wife with her dower (Leyser 168). Chaucer, as a government official would have been aware of this legal text in the 14th century and he references this precedent in his description of Alisoun. She has been married ‘at the church door’ five times, which suggests only one thing, considering the Glanvill, and it’s pretty straightforward— that she has been endowed by each subsequent husband, leading to her wealth.

The fact that she has experience in marriage means that she is more likely to assert her authority over her husband as is evidenced in her Prologue. “But tell may this: why hidestow, with sorwe,/The keyes of thy cheste away fro may?/It is my good as wel as thyn, pardee! […] Now by that lord that is called Seint Jame,/Thou shalt nat bothe, though that thou were/ whoad,/Be master of my body and of my good” (Chaucer ll 308-310, 312-314).

She speaks of her trouble with Jankyn when they are newly married, he demands that she give him access to her money saying that it’s as much his as it is hers however, she refuses stating that she’s already given him mastery over her body, he will not have both. The significance of this exchange shows that women who are independently wealthy would have control over their own purse strings as Alisoun does. Chaucer would not have included this development on his own.

He, as a tax collector, would have been aware of the inheritance law that made it beneficial for widows to remarry because, as stated by Leyser, “to raise the money necessary to refuse to remarry, the woman might have to sell her one means of support as [a] single woman: her dower” (Leyser 171). Few women would have been willing to sell their dower because, for the most part, it was all she would have been able to live off of.

Chaucer does not challenge any embedded misogyny but is rather reflecting his time period or at least arguing that women need to have agency in order to exist as members of society. Throughout The Canterbury Tales there are women who have strong thoughts and ideas which speaks volumes about medieval society and the role of women within it.

Critics have often called Chaucer’s portrayal of women as anti woman, Jill Mann asserts in Feminizing Chaucer that by “giving the antifeminist material to the Wife, and the tale of Griselda, supreme example of the good woman, to the Clerk” (Mann 57), Chaucer is reconciling the fact that he cannot write in the voice of a woman; however, this is problematic considering how he writes the other women in the text.

His women aren’t inherently bad or good, they all vary in terms of personality and reflect the world he lives in, one where women had a varied level of liberality and where some, like Alisoun, have a great deal of it and others are, like Griselda, have none. The Wife of Bath does not even challenge masculine institutions; she remarries because it is a safe place for her to be. She can live the life to which she’s grown accustomed.

If anything the fact that she is married says more than she’s given credit for because by staying married she exists within the medieval convention. Marriage is a better option than widowhood because the money and land she was endowed with in widowhood would be taken from her unless she remarries quickly and thus the easiest way to stay wealthy is to stay married. Alcuin Blamires writes in Chaucer, Ethics and Gender “that largesse/liberality was not a class-exclusive but had a wide moral scope” (Blamires 132).

There was a sense in Chaucer’s time that women throughout the classes should be given a modicum of personal freedoms Blamires explains, “Liberality was thus a virtue delicately poised between parsimony (deficient liberality) on one hand, and prodigality (excess liberality) on the other” (Blamires 132).

This means that there were households of varying degrees of liberality, some where the wife had less liberality and others where she had more. This is the basis of medieval marriage – a variable institution itself. Lee Patterson argues that “there is no single institution we can call ‘medieval marriage’” (Patterson 134) which means that the Wife of Bath’s situation was hardly original and its inclusion is indicative of the time period. After all, she’s been married five times and has experienced a wide gamut of marital troubles.

Alisoun is a forgiving person when it comes to sex and relationships; when she mentions her fifth husband she states “And yet was hay to may the moste shrewe./That faile E on my ribbes al by rewe,/And evere shall unto mine ending-die. […] E trowe E loved him best for that he/Was of his love dandross to may” (Chaucer, ll 505-507, 513-514).

Since she obviously loves him and enjoys sleeping with him, she wouldn’t leave him and be left without the economic stability of marriage and the potential for yet another dower in widowhood. While this may make it seem as though she’s living up to the stereotype of widows, in truth, she is only thinking of her future which means remarrying because inheritance law of the time deprived the widow of two thirds of her inheritance if she didn’t remarry, while a widow who remarried could keep land she previously forfeited (Leyser 180).

If she retains hold of her land or money from her previous dower, then she can use it to supplement her current income, or rather, that of her husband. So, remarrying affords her a certain amount of freedom and agency whereas widowhood would not.

However, Alistair Minnis argues that Alisoun is still confined “within the prison house of masculine language” (Minnis 307). Not because of any masculine argument of Chaucer’s but instead his knowledge that, according to the law of late 14th century, she has a better chance of being well off and well taken care of if she remains in the “male convention” of marriage.

In her Prologue, The Pardoner interrupts her: “’Now, dam,’ quod he, ‘by Gode and by Seint John!/Ye been a noble prey-chore in this cahs’” (Chaucer ll 163-165). Minnis asserts that The Pardoner is mocking her, that he was “about to ‘wedde a weef’ but now, he declares, she has put him off the idea. […] he urges her to continue with her narrative, to ‘teche us yonge men of your praktike’” (Minnis 252).

However, rather than mocking Alisoun, The Pardoner sees her interpretation of holy writ to be as self-serving as one of his own sermons. However, he’s mistaken in this case as Alisoun is not being self-serving; she is merely espousing her own interpretation of biblical text. She, unlike the Pardoner, is not trying to get anything from anybody because she already has what she wants from her husband, freedom.

The wife travels freely on her own, making her way on pilgrimages to Rome (twice), Bologna, Cologne and St. James of Compostella. She has the money to go to mainland Europe relatively frequently, and the freedom to travel without her own companions. Jankyn does not seem to travel with her suggesting that she is a lot more ‘wel at ese’ than originally thought. She is an experienced wanderer and this is reflected in her tale. She travels for pleasure and her knight is traveling for a specific purpose, because she has discovered the truth of gender balance and he has not.

The theme of Alisoun’s tale is the idea of gender balance and it is reinforced throughout. The tale opens with a young knight, Gawain, raping a peasant girl. While the crime is reprehensible, the fact that Gawain, a noble, is brought to trial is an interesting turn on modern views of medieval law and culture because his victim was a peasant and therefore less likely to engender a response from the nobility.

The punishment for rape varied throughout the medieval period; according to Corinne Saunders “English rape law is characterized by a complex pattern of development that builds on its Anglo-Saxon heritage, but reflects as well Norman influence.” (Saunders 75). However, in this case it’s pretty clear that he raped the woman.

The interesting part about the Tale is that Arthur immediate defers to Guinevere and the women; “And yaf hym to the queene, al at hir wille,/To chese wheither she wolde hym save or spille.” (Chaucer ll 897-898). Guinevere exercises her power which indicates a balance between the genders at least it exists between Guinivere and Arthur which is not to say that it didn’t exist in the real world. Guinevere suggests that Arthur’s best knight do what he does best and go on a quest to find out “What thing is it that woman moost desieren” (Chaucer, 905).

The fact that Arthur allows this indicates that, as Susan Crane writes, “Arthur’s justice is tempered through the queen’s mercy” (Crane 119). But it is far more likely that Gawain is set on this quest to give him hope of saving his life. Guinevere knows that there is no way that a normal woman would tell him straight out what it is that women want most and therefore he’s consigned to failure and execution. Luckily for Gawain he is saved from execution by an old hag, The Loathly Lady, who tells him the secret that he seeks with the promise of his granting her any desire in return.

Her only desire is to be married to Gawain who, understandably runs away however when he learns of her beauty and what she wants, he gives her the choice of what she wants to do even after she let him choose. Angela Weisl asserts that The Loathly Lady “is the exact opposite of the standard romance heroine throughout most of the Wife of Bath’s Tale,” and that she “must become ideal for the poem to end.” (Weisl 3).

Weisl’s definition of the ‘standard romance heroine’ is a beautiful, silent woman. However, for the Loathly Lady to conform to Weisl’s ideal then she would be silent and she’s not, she still voices her opinion. She knows that she can assert her own power and that they, that is, Gawain and The Loathly Lady, both make decisions within the marriage that would benefit the two of them.

The fact that there are now at least three women in the text who have power if not over her husband then with her husband that it points towards the idea that a woman making decisions regarding the household and what to do therein is a common sight. This means that Chaucer is using the Wife of Bath to show the benefits of a “truly companionate marriage” as Patterson asserts. (Patterson, Putting the Wife in Her Place 33).

The Wife of Bath has been a polarizing figure among literary critics for years and will likely continue to be for years to come. The fact that she maintains an independent lifestyle means that she has the money necessary to afford the expenses of travel making her on par with any of the men on the Canterbury Pilgrimage.

Her views of marriage add to her polarizing nature because how could a woman who interprets the Bible in a time when only the clergy could know Latin and read the Bible be anything but polarizing? She is a fantastic example of a strong female character who knows exactly what she wants in life and is not afraid to not only go out and get it but to let everyone whether they care or not know what it is that she wants. This combined with her tale shows the benefits of the 14th century for men and women in that they are in several ways equal to one another.

Works Cited

• Blamires, Alcuin. Chaucer, Ethics, and Gender. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006. Print.
• Chaucer, Geoffrey. “The General Prologue and The Wife of Bath’s Prologue and Tale.” Benson, Larry D. The Riverside Chaucer. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1987. 23-36, 105-122.
• Crane, Susan. Gender and Romance in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1994.
• Leyser, Henrietta. Medieval Women: A Social History of Women in England 450-1500. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1995. Print.
• Mandel, Jerome. Geoffrey Chaucer: Building the Fragments of the Canterbury Tales. London: Associated University Press, 1992.
• Mann, Jill. Feminizing Chaucer. Cambridge: D.S. Brewer, 1991.
• Minnis, Alistair. Fallible Authors: Chaucer’s Pardoner and Wife of Bath. Philidelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2008. Print.
• Patterson, Lee. “”Experience woot well is is noght so”: Marriage and the Pursuit of Happiness in the Wife of Bath’s Prologue and
• Tale.” The Wife of Bath. Ed. Peter G. Beidler. Boston: St. Martin’s Press, 1996. 133-152. Print.—. Putting the Wife in Her Place. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1995. Print.
• Saunders, Corinne. Rape and Ravishment in the Literature of Medieval England. Cambridge: D.S. Brewer, 2001. Print.
• Weisl, Angela Jane. Conqering the Reign of Femeny. Cambridge: D.S. Brewer, 1995.

Chiefdoms are an essential part of the villages of the Trobrianders of Papua New Guinea. Chiefs were several different forms of decorations on their bodies that allow them to augment their physical appearance and claim their chiefly rank by one of their ancestors. They are enforced to follow several food taboos that prohibit them from eating certain foods that are thought to weaken the body. One of the reasons these taboos are reinforced is because they are thought to strengthen the body and make it more attractive, and therefore, influential (Weiner 101).

One would expect that there only be one chief per village, but here, there are several chiefs that vary in rank. Chiefs are part of chiefly matrilineages and therefore only have utmost power over their hamlet only (Weiner 104). The origin stories make clear that there has always been rivalry amongst chiefs, and each chief always searches for a weakness in another in order to take advantage (Weiner 101). However, ranking does not equate to political power in the village (Weiner 102). According to Scupin (141), political power is the ability to achieve personal ends despite opposition. A person may be legitimate to become a chief, but if he does not acquire power, he will not be a powerful chief. Therefore, chiefs must work to establish power in their interpersonal relationships (103).

Important and powerful chiefs must also have some kind of sorcery knowledge in order to demonstrate control over the village and the growing cycle of yams. The most dangerous spells are those that control the weather because they can also control the yam harvest season. By knowing spells for this, it creates fear in the villagers, and therefore, respect. However, chiefs can also be vulnerable to sorcery’s effects (Weiner 109). Another way to control the yam harvest is by special stones that were inherited from chiefly ancestors. When they are upright on the ground, the yam harvest will turn out good; if they are turned down, the yams will die (Weiner 99). The ruin of the growing cycle of a yam harvest is feared by everyone, since it would cause a disruption in fertility, social relationships, and power (Weiner 110).

A right chiefs acquire is the ability to marry more than one wife (Scupin 183). Polygyny allows a chief to enlarge economically, since he would receive several annual yam harvests from the matrilineal kin of each wife. Since each wife would have her own personal yam house, the matrilineal kin of each would compete against each other to see who produced the most yams for the season. This competition benefits he chief, since the political currency is measured in yam production. With several full yam houses, he would be ideally powerful (Weiner 105). However, low-ranking chiefs tend to either be monogamous, which is marriage to only one woman (Scupin 138), or have up to six wives (Weiner 106).

The distribution of women’s wealth, which consists of skirts and banana-leaf bundles and occurs on the last phase of mourning during yam harvest season, shows the potential power of matrilineages. In the latter, a woman “owner” does this by collecting the most baskets of skirts and bundles, and is essentially called a “wealthy woman” (Weiner 117). When a woman needs to collect a large amount of bundles, her husband has to help her by selling his own valuables and purchasing bundles for her. This happens especially when one member of his wife’s matrilineal dies because her brother gives them yams every year. This is one of the ways in which the accumulation and collection of women wealth is associated to yam production. Therefore, men are shown to work for women in their yam gardens and in their purchase of women’s wealth (Weiner 122).

Eros is the type of love that is repeatedly displayed in Hollywood productions. The influence of this mass media too often distorts the societal image of what exactly love is (Cellulose). Eros is the most common kind of love, as it is the most common to be taken out of context. This type of love is what God intended and restricted to a one-man, one-woman kind of relationship within the bound of marriage, but society has warped and perverted it into something that most are brain-washed into believing is more enjoyable (Newton).

These perversions include fornication, adultery, and same-sex marriage (“Kinds of Love”). The love that one has within friendships is known as Philae (Cellulose). Philae is to have a special interest in someone or something, frequently with focus on close association; have affection for, like, consider someone a friend (“Four Kinds of Love”). It is a love of the affections – one that comes and goes with intensity (Newton). It is usually fun and carefree which is why it is easy for it to dissolve at the first sight of something going wrong.

Imagine that one’s best friend is dating a boy who Is a Jerk ND treats her like dirt, but she likes him so much that she excuses the way he acts and has convinced herself that she can change his ways. In reality, one might know that he’s not going to change, so because of the love one has for their friend, they try to convince her that she needs to end the relationship. The favored scenario would be that she trusts their opinion and Is able to see the truth. However, If she mistakes that love for her safety as something such as Jealousy, the friendship can be destroyed along with the people love that was once there.

Storage, the love that naturally occurs between parents and children, can exist between siblings and is present between husbands and wives in a good marriage (“Four Kinds of Love”). It is supportive and caring and is shown in deed and in truth (Newton). It’s not limited to only humans; storage is also applicable to pets and objects as well. There are several scenarios in which it is common to see storage in action – ten time AT teat or velocity, ten time AT Taller or success, ten time AT slackness or In good health, the time of sadness or Joy, and the time of achievement or spottiness’s (“Kinds of Love”).

In a marriage, there are multiple types of love required for it to be healthy, with storage being at the top of the list. The most powerful of loves is agape. It is the love for which God gave up his son to save all of humanity and the love with which Jesus died on the cross to liberate mankind from sin and death (Newton). Though most people have their staple few that they say they would lay their lives down for, Jesus did it for all mankind. What is even more amazing is that He did it without even personally knowing many of us.

It did not matter to Him that we were stumbling in sin and self-pity. He loves us so much that he accomplished the impossible. That is why agape is known as the supreme love, for it covers a multitude of sins (“Four Kinds of Love”). The love that lasts longer than dinner and the movie is a healthy blend of Eros, the physical attraction; storage, the total support and care; Philae, the friendship; and agape, the unconditional commitment (“Four Kinds of Love”). In order to have a balanced love life, all four must be existent.

Their Effect on American Teens Martha Wallace ENG 122: English Composition II Professor Kathy Conner August 8, 2011 The values of our forefathers for America have disappeared. Each year more and more of American children are Judging themselves based upon the lives portrayed in popular media. Certain media in the music industry portrays the life of getting rich fast and having a lot of girls. Movies depict a life of fast cars, many sexual partners, and dishonesty. The latest media that has become very popular in portraying negative values Is reality shows.

Reality shows have replaced traditional family values wows such as: Happy Days, Seventh Heaven, The Cowboys Show, Family Matters, and Growing Pains. Today’s family values are now being portrayed through shows like: Keeping up with the Sardinian, Teen Moms, The Real World, Jersey Shore, and all of the Real Housewives shows. Reality shows have changed the way American teens view family and the values of marriage, honesty, and respect. Today’s teenagers view marriage as a commitment between two people who are in love. Once the love is gone, the marriage is over. On the other hand, some adults may think differently.

Marriage is not Just the result from love between two people. There is much more to it. A successful marriage is like a good recipe whose main ingredients, besides love, are commitment, understanding, concern and loyalty. If you can include these qualities In your married life you can find happiness In your marriage. Yet, the future of the stability In American marriage Is slowly decaying. Adults and teens alike are viewing marriage In a different way. This view Is being persuaded by new television shows called Reality television. It Is a known fact the media plays an important part In how teens view themselves and others.

Almost every person in the united States has excess to television and the younger generation is the ones who watch it the most (Cheeseboard, 2003, Para 4). Considering the average teen spends more time watching television than with their parents. The majority of them are also learning about the basic values of life, also from television. This bring about a serious concern of reality shows’ effects on teens attitude, values, and behavior. The traditional family value of marriage is portrayed on reality shows as an option for couples who are living together.

The reality show Keeping up with the Sardinian is a perfect example of his type of arrangement. One of the older sisters, Courtney, currently lives with her boyfriend and when approached by another slang asking her why she refuses to get married. Courtney replies, “I’m not sure If he Is really the one” (Bravo, 2011, Para 2). When her mother approaches her about the same thing, Courtney replies, “Mom, I’m lust not Into ten traditional things” (Bravo, 2011, Para According to David Opened, a Rutgers sociology professor and report co-author, “Cohabitation is here to stay.

I don’t think it is good news, especially for children”, he says, “As society shifts from arraign to co-habitation, which is what’s happening, you have an increase in family instability’ Canyons, 2005, Para 8). The reality shows that have married couples on it either end up in divorce, the wife shows no respect for her husband, or one spouse cheats on the other. These are the lessons reality shows are teaching American teens today. The broadcasting station, Bravo, has a series of shows titled, The Real Housewives of some very popular cities in America. One of those cities is Atlanta.

This reality show is about six women who are married or were once married. The show aired for three years detailing the lives of women who were to represent the real lives of American married women living in Atlanta. Only one of the six was actually married and before the end of the three year series, she was filing for a divorce. Americans by the million were tuning in each week to watch the drama unfold. According to Nelson Media Research, 4. 4 million viewers watched the shows season finale January 30, 2011 and 1. 3 million of those viewers were under the age of 18 (2011).

What does this mean for the future of marriage? Many teenagers no longer look forward to their wedding day. In fact in a conversation with teenagers through a youth organization, Youth for Prevention, Action, and Change Through Thought (HAPPY), which aims to develop community leaders by teaching teens about social, racial, and health disparities in their neighborhoods, many of them do not see the need for marriage. One participant stated, “I’m not looking forward to marriage and I don’t think we [people in general] should be married, because I see how other marriages ended up in my family and on television.

It’s always a disaster. When asked which television shows she mainly watches, she replied, “Reality shows, they ell you how life really is”, Cones, 2006, Para 2). As this ten’s comments indicate, views about marriage are formed by what they see in their lives and in popular media. Shows such as “The Real World” and the media’s focus on the latest celebrity break-up do not paint a perfect picture of marriage. It is a sign of the growing decline in the value of one of the greatest institutions developed in America. It is these factors that may explain why the U.

S. Divorce rate approaches 40 percent. Marriage is not the only American value which seems to be affected by reality shows, honesty s another value among teenagers that is almost invisible and reality shows does not appear to make the view any clearer. There was a time when a man was held to his word and a handshake was the only deed required. Those days are long gone. No one can trust the other. Prenuptial are written before marriages, contracts are required between businesses, and even teenagers are signing contracts with parents.

One reality show, Teen Moms, broadcasted a show which detailed a written contract between one teen and her parents. The purpose of the contract was to validate the parents’ words to help their daughter financially after she gives birth to he child. Reality television shows and their effects on teenagers can depend on the desires and motives they see themselves in these stars and somehow these stars are living their lives through the show. Each reality show portrays and fulfills certain desires like powerful high class living, survival and outwitting others, beauty, revenge Ana amnesty.

Many teenagers enjoy a certain sense AT pleasure Ana satisfaction when they watch these reality television shows and their effects are continuously mirrored in the way they interact with others, deal with various situations, and face certain challenges. According to the teens in HAPPY, the reality shows are entertaining Cones, 2006, Para 5). Yet, most of these shows are built upon other people’s failures, sadness, frustrations, depressions, and other mental and physical handicaps. There are some reality shows that have a positive effect on ten’s lives.

Broadcasting station, FOX, had a show, Trading Spouses, where two families, usually of different social classes, swap wives or husbands for a week. Each family is awarded $50,000, with the stipulation that the guest mother decides how her host family must spend the money (Schneider ; Italian, 2004). The adults show how families can come together and grow. It gives hope to the value of family and honesty. Each participant is required to react normally and to come to an understanding on how to handle differences.

The children are given an opportunity to express themselves and this usually results in their parents making some changes to include the opinions of their children. The parents come face to face with the honesty of some mishaps in their family and agree to make an honest effort to correcting them. These types of reality show effect teens in a positive way. For those men’s that may not have been able to express their thoughts or opinions to their parents, the show gives them suggestions and allow them to see an honest possibility of the outcome.

Most teenagers see their parents as difficult people to compromise with. This type of reality television shows the vulnerable side of parents and how they can make mistake too. Teens begin to see their parents as human and someone they can talk to. Honesty is rarely played out in reality shows, therefore our teens have a front row view of how to become a liar and deceive people. Some of these wows are so deceitful; it is hard to imagine someone would have agreed to be a participant.

For example, “Joe Millionaire”, is a reality show where women compete to win the heart of a supposed millionaire. At the end, the women find out the “Joe Millionaire” is actually an “Average Joe” and have to decide if they want to stay with him. This show is probably one of the most dishonest reality shows and unethical of them all. Teens and adults alike are shown ways to be dishonest and degrade the true meaning of finding love and honesty in an individual. Respect has great importance in everyday life.

As children we are taught ,one hopes, to respect our parents, teachers, and elders, school rules and traffic laws, family and cultural traditions, other people’s feelings and rights, our country’s flag and leaders, the truth and people’s differing opinions (Dillon, 2010, Para 1). If we are to live by this description of respect, then reality shows has gotten it wrong. A study called, “Kids These Days: What Americans Really Think About the Next Generation”, surveyed 2,000 adults who characterized teenagers and young children as “irresponsible”, “rude”, and “lazy’ (Kids these days, 1997).

Those words are scarcely new attitudes towards American’s youth. The reality show, Keeping up with the Sardinian, portrays a family with two teenage daughters who are often rude to their parents, constantly shows disrespect towards each other, and uses profanity towards their parents. This reality show is rated number one among teenagers in America. Yet this show, “Keeping up with the Sardinian”, shows very little respect towards the parents Trot any AT ten SIX centre Foul language Is town across ten room Trot ten teen daughters, young adult children, their boyfriends, and the parents.

There is no respect for other people’s feeling, rights or differing opinions. One particular episode, the teen daughters swore at her mother and told her dad she will make her own decision and didn’t need his help. After consulting with his wife, they agreed to allow their 13 year old daughter to make her decision on a career move that would affect her for the rest of her life. This is not a good message to send to teenagers today. Raising one’s voice and slamming doors is not the way to gain respect.

Yet, reality shows often show teenagers acting this way and the results are often the arenas bending the rules to allow the teens to make their own decisions. Showing respect is the best way for anyone to receive respect. Everyone should have an opinion, be able to express them and feel good about that relationship. No one should feel pressured to do something Just because it seems like everyone else is doing it, or because someone else is trying to get you to do it. Yet that is precisely what most reality shows are doing. Teens are being pursued to make decisions and react to certain things according to celebrities on reality television.

The reality show reduced by MAT, The Real World, gave American Teens a real look at honor and respect in it episode featuring Pedro Somoza. Pedro Somoza was a young man chosen to be one of the six young adults sharing a house in New York City, who Just happened to have AIDS. Pedro died of the disease and America tuned in the watch every episode as it unfolded on television. This series of The Real World, New York taught many people the truth about AIDS. The effect this show had on American teens open their eyes to respect other people, taught valuable lessons on safe sex, and gave AIDS a new found respect.

Since the rising of these popular reality elevation shows, American teens have changed the way they view “entertainment”. This genre has influenced the way teenagers express themselves. Considering many of these shows are geared towards teens, they are the ones who are more susceptible to its various influences. With each passing year more and more of American children are Judging themselves based upon the lives portrayed in popular media. Certain media portrays the life of getting rich fast, having a lot of girls, a life of fast cars, many sexual partners, and dishonesty. There are not many good values portrayed in these reality shows.

Yet, reality shows can give insight to teens about many different types of people and cultures. They can also prepare teenagers for the outcome of bad choices people make about the values of marriage, honesty, and respect. The core role is to see what people reactions in certain scenarios are, and how they face these given situations. American teens can learn and apply these outcomes to their lives. They can learn about teamwork. They can become motivated in life to achieve their goals and can even chase a dream. References Dillon, S. (2010). Respect, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2010 Edition).

As I took my marriage vows in the House of God, my glittery white wedding gown sparkling in the sun seemed like a symbol of my bright future with the man of my dreams. I looked into his passionate dark eyes, and realized that once again, I had succeeded, gotten what I wanted. No one had ever been able to come in my way ever, and now that I was married to Jai, looked like no one could. Not even my parents. My parents didn’t even know Jai well. I do believe in the whole ‘mothers instinct’ thing, but things were different in this case. All they knew was what they had heard from people, namely Jai’s ex-wife and her mother.

And of course they’d be biased, after a broken engagement, who wouldn’t? Jai’s ex wife kept making up stories about how violent Jai got when he was drunk, I didn’t believe her, partly because I didn’t want to, but another part of me sub consciously filed these ‘fables’ in my memory. Mom kept insisting that she had a ‘bad feeling’ about him, “If he’s left her for you, what guarantee do you have that he wont leave you for some one else? ” But it wasn’t that way, my parents wouldn’t understand. Jai needed a life partner. His wife couldn’t be his companion. I was everything she wasn’t.

She was a slave, more like a machine who just bounced off his ideas to him. Obviously he’d be bored. I also thought that another reason was the fact that I wanted to marry by choice, and not have it arranged like her and Pa, and all the other ‘happy couples’ in the world. Well, so what if Jai had fooled around in the past, or gotten into jail a few times just for small time drug dealing? That didn’t make him a criminal, and it certainly didn’t make me change my mind about his wonderful personality. That was his past, and at the time, I was his present, and that was all that mattered.

Things started shaping up just the way I knew they would, Jai was still the exotic, tall, handsome man, with flashing eyes and a sharp mind. Nothing had changed after marriage; he still loved me with the same passion tinged with possessiveness, and he still treated me with the same respect and dignity as a gentleman, I was grateful because that was something very uncommon in the society I lived in. We shared the same interest in everything: religion, politics, and even video games. I was his companion, his equal partner, I was sure Jai would keep me happy all my life.

Soon Jai got a job as an agent for a company, and it was a good job with a steady income, so I didn’t mind the fact that he had to be in and out of town. Pa got us a nice apartment in a friendly neighborhood, till we could afford to pay our own rent. A few months down the line Jai had gone to Singapore for some business, and while he was away, I discovered that I was pregnant. I was thrilled beyond measure, all my parents’ fears of me being unable to live a decent respectable life with a man like Jai were dismissed. My dreams were coming true; I would soon be a respected wife and mother.

I thought I’d wait for Jai to return, and then surprise him. But Jai returned a little earlier than expected, hearing of my pregnancy from a family friend in Singapore. The night he returned didn’t turn out to be quite as I thought it would. He came home drunk, and I was at my mother’s house when he returned, and was livid to find me out of the house without his permission. That night, when I returned home, I found him on his rocking chair, awaiting my return. The first thing he said to me struck me like a lightening bolt, ” I should’ve listened to them when they told me about you.

You’re finally showing your true colors aren’t you? ” I didn’t know whom he meant by ‘them’, but I was shocked by the bitterness and sharpness of his tone and could only manage to mumble a feeble “huh? ” “Don’t pretend! There’s no need to, I know you were with Philip, and I know what you’ve been doing the past few months while I’ve been out of town,” His breath reeked of alcohol, and his words were slurred, and bitter with contempt, “You think I’m dumb huh? Huh? You think I haven’t noticed you’re interest in him? And I know that you’re carrying proof of that.. ” Philip was our young, vibrant next-door neighbor.

He was quite a good looking, charming boy and I had mentioned it to Jai a couple of times. I noticed that he didn’t seem too pleased about it, but I had never in my wildest dreams imagined that he would ever suspect me of being unfaithful to him. Jai went on to call me a string of demeaning nasty names, but my mind was blank. I was weak as it was, and the shock was too much for me to bear. He got up slowly and walked towards me, stopping a few inches away from me, ” Where did you go? “. I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat was parched, and no words could be formed.

After what seemed like eternity I uttered “Ma’s house”. His eyes bore into me like needles, and suddenly he struck me screaming “LIAR! If you aren’t hiding anything from me then why are you so scared! ” His eyes were bulging out of his sockets, and his breathing grew heavier, suddenly he caught me by my hair and flung me onto the couch. As he slapped me repeatedly, I fought to stifle my screams lest the neighbors heard; he then caught hold of my long auburn tresses and dragged me onto the floor, then lifted me and hit my head against the wall again and again and again. His fury was sated.

I couldn’t keep track of anything that happened after that, I just remember excruciating pain in my head, and then I went numb and blacked out. I woke up to find myself on my bed, Jai was by my side holding my hand, my head still spun, and it took me a while to recollect the events of the previous night. Jai sat with his head bowed. He whispered an apology to me, I was too weak to show any signs of acceptance, and then suddenly he started sobbing, “I can’t believe I did this to you. I’m so sorry, I must’ve been possessed by an evil spirit. Please forgive me. I love you. I beg for forgiveness.

That wasn’t me. I promise to never raise my hand on you again. I’m sorry Jyoti, please forgive me. ” I was scared. I didn’t entirely believe him, but something inside me wanted to believe his every word. I knew my Jai, last night he was sick, he was drunk. He didn’t know what he was doing. Maybe I believed him only because I knew that I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t go back to my parents, because my ego wouldn’t let me, nor could I let them know the torture and humiliation I had been subjected to, because I wasn’t used to being proved wrong. I didn’t want them to know that they had been right.

So I stayed, I believed what I wanted to believe about him, he was my strength, everything else was perfect, and these were just trivial things that happened sometimes between couples, meant to be forgotten, it was the price I had to pay for my love, my impudence and what the world would see as my victory. After that incident, things were back to normal between us on the outside, but deep down I was scared, I was scared of making any wrong move. I was still not thoroughly convinced that he believed that the child I was carrying was his, because he did pass snide remarks implying that I was unfaithful to him.

For a long time after that I avoided him when he was drunk, I let fear overtake my pride, and soon I let my ego dissolve in front of him. He was my husband, my master, my provider, my everything. It was the price I paid for my image in society. People admired me for being able to live with a man known by his notoriety. They thought that I had reformed him, but that was only in public. At home I slowly began to uncover his darkest secrets. After I gave birth to my baby, Rahul, I stayed at my parents’ house as per the customs of our society.

One night I had to come back to my house to get a few tablets that I left there before. My father offered to drive me there at around 1 in the morning. As I entered the house I heard voices from my bedroom, I decided to go take a look, thinking that maybe Jai had a few of his friends over, and as I walked in, I saw him in bed with another woman. I wasn’t as shocked as I ought to have been; perhaps because deep down inside I knew this was going on, I just hadn’t expected to catch him in the act so soon. As soon as he was aware of my presence he ordered the other woman to leave.

I grabbed this opportunity to have the upper hand. He was the unfaithful one, not me. I started reprimanding him and he kept quiet. I thought that I was winning, he was ashamed, and had been caught in the act. But I made one little mistake. In my rage, I abused him. A clenched jaw and red, bulging eyes looked up at me. He rose and struck me on my face. I knew that my father was waiting outside for me, and under no circumstances would I let my father know, ever. So I ran out to my father, knowing the fate that awaited me the next day. The day I went back home with my baby was awful.

He was drunk when I arrived, and he waited for my parents to leave before he used the events of the other night as a stick to beat me with. Thus the beatings started. Every other night at first, and then everyday for trivial things, like not serving him breakfast on time, not ironing his clothes well, and coming home late, even if I was at my parents’ house. I began to feel like I could trust no one. I lived a schizophrenic existence. The humiliation of not being able to keep my husband happy and falling short of my parents definition of an ideal marriage seemed more frightening than the beatings.

I tried everything I could to keep him in a cheery mood. I eliminated everything that would slightly upset him. I tried to mould my personality to fit him, so that we could live in harmony. Along with my pride there was something else, much more precious to me at stake, my baby Rahul. Even if he never showed much affection towards the baby, Jai had never raised his hand on him, and I tried my best to keep it that way. But it was inevitable. I knew that Jai had a suspicion that the baby wasn’t his.

One morning as I woke up to Rahul’s cries, Jai was getting dressed for work, and he had not attended to the baby, but I could see that the baby’s wails were increasingly annoying him. I knew that if I didn’t do something to stop Rahul from crying, he too would be subjected to his father’s evil. Jai probably saw my fear for my baby in my eyes, and decided to taunt me with it. He commanded me to leave Rahul alone, and ordered the baby to shut up. At this point, I knew that I had to try and save my most precious asset, and I ignored his command and reached out for my child. Jai caught my hair and dragged me away from him.

I was powerless to resist. I could only pray to the Lord. Rahul’s wails got louder when he saw the brutality of the scene. Jai left my hair and reached for the baby’s neck, almost chocking him to death, his eyes bulged with fear and I knew that he would soon turn blue. An eternity passed before me, until I was suddenly overcome by strength so great, I can now say that it was the strength of the Lord. The strength he had given me, to save my baby. I spotted my heavy rot iron lamp on my bedside; I lifted it with all my strength and brought it crashing down at the back of his head. He fell on the floor with a thud.

Family It was three pickoff In the morning on a cold spring night In 1988. My parents woke me up and told me it was time to get ready to go to the airport. We were leaving Russia to move to the united States. My grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins had moved to the United States a few years back. I was ecstatic to be once again reunited with my relatives especially with my cousin Yang who I was very close to. I Jumped out of bed with so much excitement; I can almost see my heart pumping out of my chest.

It was a matter of minutes until I was standing by the door wearing my Black oat and a suitcase next to me. Prior to my relatives leaving, we would spend every weekend, holiday and special occasion together. I would Impatiently Walt for the weekend to come so I can see my cousin Yang and my grandparents. My grandmother would bring little gifts every time she saw me and my grandfather was my hero, regardless of the situation I can always count on him to take my side. Upon moving to Brooklyn, I expected that everything would continue to be the same as It once was In Russia.

Within a few months, I realized that this was not the case. My grandparents were occupied with their jobs and other responsibilities. Yang lived to ar of a distance to walk so our time together was limited. We no longer had time to see each other on weekends or spend holidays together. My parents had also become extremely busy trying to construct a new life and part of that process required for them to work on weekends. My father was struggling to accept that he was once a business owner in Russia and now a blue collar worker.

He soon began to channel his anger and frustration on me. “l wish you were a boy’ he said, “l could have taught you manly things. ” However, he never took the time to Inquire about my life or teach me about life. Soon, I did not Like spending time at home. I would often find myself feeling lonely and wishing I had a brother or a sister that I can be close to. I wanted to feel what it would be like to be loved again. During my first summer in Brooklyn I felt lonely. School was out of session and I had no friends.

I would be at the playground near my house watching other kids having fun. My English was still not very good and I had trouble approaching the other children. One day I noticed a girl that, like me, was also alone. She was sitting on a bench about ten feet away and noticed her glancing at me. Within a few minutes she approached me and asked in Russian “what is your name? ‘ “Lairs. And what Is yours” I replied. Her name was Anna. She was instantly very talkative and continued asking me questions such as “where are you from? ” and “how far is your home? We ended up staying at the playground until sundown, and it was one of my happiest days from that summer. It did not take us long to become close, We spent every day of that summer together and I realized that her situation was very similar to mine. She had also moved with her parents from Russia not too long ago. Eventually they divorced and her mother gave the responsibility of raising her to her grandparents. Unlike me, however, Anna was stronger and more confident. She had control of her emotions and could not be Influenced by others. The opinion of others also did not matter. Be who you want to be, not who others want you to be,” she said “But I don’t want to make my father 1 OFF “He is already always angry, what difference does it make? ” she said “I am scared I will be in trouble” I said “We will face the consequences together” she said I thought that if I followed her lead, maybe I too can come out of my shell and be as strong as she was. Anna was protective of me and cared for me as if I was her little sister. After school we would often go to her grandparents’ house for dinner and it made me nostalgic of the days my grandmother would cook for me in Russia.

After a while her grandparents accepted me as their own grandchild. They invited me to all of their special occasion and holidays. I began spending more time with them instead of my own family. One morning after leaving her grandmother’s house to go to school, Anna stopped unexpectedly. She grabbed my arm and said “can I ask you a question? ” I was confused and hesitantly said “sure. ” “Do you want to be blood sisters? ” she asked. “How do we do that? ” I asked puzzled. Let’s both cut our pinkies, put them together, and we will become sisters by blood” she answered.

We felt so strong about our friendship that on May 21st, 1992 we created an unbreakable bond. Anna became the sister I had always wanted. When I needed to turn to someone for advice or for help I turned to Anna. She did not Judge and supported me regardless if I was right or wrong. I have never trusted a person so much in my life. We discussed education, relationships, careers and marriage. This was something I was unable to do with any of my family members. Of course, we would have our disagreements and fights, but through it all our bond always minded strong.

We laughed together, cried together and shared life’s ups and downs together. I was blessed to have her in my life. When I reminisce about that day, I realize that although what we did was childish, it also speaks a powerful message. While your parents will always be your family through birth, as you go through life you determine who you can call family. Anna showed me that this can extend to include those that are not your relatives. In my life, Vive formed my family to be people that influence my life, who help me through tough times, and who love and support me regardless of the circumstances.