Snow White: Told by Christopher Boone

Snow White is a fairy tale. I do not like fairy tales because fairies do not exist. Mother used to read fairy tales to me when I was younger but not any more. I used to hate Snow White, because there is no just thing as a magic mirror and dwarves do not exist and these are all lies as they are not real. I hate lying and Mother used to say that this makes me a good person.
Snow White was a princess and was a very kind person who was caring and loving to all animals. Snow White lived in a castle which is a very big house which is usually situated on a hill with very high walls. I would love to live in a castle by myself as I could be alone for a long time and pretend I was the only person in the world. But I would also hate living in a castle as it would take a long time walking from room to room, and eventually I would get confused and lost and forget where my room is.
Snow White’s mother died just after she was born, my mother also died but because of a heart attack and not birth. Snow White’s father married another princess who became queen, and became Snow White’s stepmother. My father would never marry another woman again as he will forget mother, and then forget me. Snow White’s stepmother had a magic mirror which told the holder of the mirror the answer to any question. I don’t like this part as magic mirrors do not exist, and there will never be one.

And so one day the new queen asked the mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is fairest of all?”
And the mirror said, “You my queen are the fairest of all”.
But when Snow White turned seven years of age, the magic mirror said, “Queen, you are full fair, ’tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you.”
And so the queen gets jealous and orders a huntsman to take Snow White into the woods to be killed. I don’t like this part as it involves violence, and I don’t think fairy tales should involve violence.
The queen also wanted the huntsman to return with Snow White’s heart as proof of her death. I think that this part of the story is silly because no one would murder someone just to be the fairest of all and if my mother tried to murder me I would hate her and try to get revenge. So the huntsman takes Snow White into the forest to be killed, but just before the huntsman was about to stab her, he finds himself unable to kill her, and tells her to flee and hide. The huntsman returns with the heart of a young boar, which is prepared and eaten by the queen. This part makes me sick as eating a heart is revolting and gross.
So as Snow White was fleeing she found a small cottage where seven dwarfs were living, the dwarves let her stay if she keeps the house for them, cooks, make beds, wash, sew, knit, and keep everything clean and orderly. The dwarfs said, “If you do all these things than you can stay.” Snow White agreed and rested at the dwarfs’ house for the 1st day. I don’t like this part as dwarfs do not exist and I find this cruel as Snow White has to do all these choirs just to stay at the dwarfs’ house. Meanwhile the queen asks her mirror once again, “Who’s the fairest of them all?”
And the Mirror informs the queen that Snow White is alive and living with the dwarfs, and she is still the fairest of them all.
I don’t like the following part because the queen disguises herself as three different people trying to sell something to Snow White which will kill her. The queen fails to kill Snow White on the first and second attempt due to the dwarfs reviving her. But on the last attempt, the queen creates a poisoned apple, and is disguised as a farmer’s wife, and offers the apple to Snow White. At first Snow White is hesitant to eat it, until the queen cuts the apple in half, and eats the white side, and gives the poisoned part of the apple to Snow White. Snow White eating the apple and immediately collapses. When the dwarfs return, they cannot revive her, and place her in a glass coffin assuming she is dead. This makes me feel sad as it makes me think that Snow White is dead for sure.
The story continues when a prince travelling through the land sees Snow White in her coffin. The prince is enchanted by her beauty and instantly falls in love with her. The dwarfs then give the coffin containing Snow White to the prince, and the prince’s servants carry the coffin away. But whilst travelling they stumble on some bushes and the movement causes the piece of poisoned apple to be released from her throat, therefore awakening her. I don’t like this part of the story as it is very unlikely that this could happen as someone who has been dead for some time can’t awaken.
So as soon as Snow White awakens, the prince declares love for her and a wedding is planned. Meanwhile the queen once again asks the mirror, “Who is the fairest in the land.”
And the mirror replies, “You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But the young queen is a thousand times fairer than you.”
The queen does not realise that this new queen is Snow White, and she arrives at the wedding, but is alarmed and startled when she realises the truth. The queen is caught and she is forced to wear a pair of heated iron shoes. She is forced to dance in them until she falls down dead. This is the end of the story, and ends happily ever after, just like all fairy tales should do.