The Love That I Gave You, And no Matter What Happens, You Will Never Let Me Go

Please know this took every part of me to send this, and I’m sorry it’s so late I hope things will be okay between us. I have already tried figuring out what’s going on with us, only to be left reading. It seems like the main thing you’ve been doing lately. I don’t know if it’s on purpose like you’re trying to distance yourself away from me. I don’t even know why I’m surprised, I don’t blame you. It’s what everyone does to me because fuck Angelina’s feelings right. I’m sorry that I’m broken and damaged and awkward but I promise you, I loved you with my whole heart. You’re the one person who taught me how to love. The was one who actually loved me back, the one who never really left my side, despite everything you gave me a purpose in life and I have to thank you for that, for everything.

Thank you for being there when I needed you. Thank you for being there to push me when I didn’t want to keep going. Thank you for being there to support me and hold my hand through everything I was afraid of. Thank you for never judging me, or using my weaknesses against me. Thank you for not using me and for always treating me with the utmost care and respect. Thank you for loving me and never letting me down. Thank you for showing me a world of beauty and being with me as I began to love it as well. Thank you for showing me my new world of confidence and self-love. Thank you for always finding a reason to stay even if I told you to go. Thank you for seeing the potential that I have. Thank you for encouraging me. thank you for being with me. Thank you for everything you have ever done for me.

I looked through our conversations when we used to be on cloud nine and in love, these were the times you told me how lucky you are to have a girl like me, how thankful you are because you never received such love I was giving to you and whatever happens, you will never let me go. When our numerous songs decide to play on my playlists, I still think of you. Sneaking you over to my house to watch big hero six. Fucking around in Kohls’s. The wholesome memes we spammed each other with. The words you said. They meant everything to me and it stabs my heart, to realize that those words don’t seem to mean anything anymore. Hell, they aren’t even said anymore. The pain is too heavy to bear, the love I believed to be true is gone. We used to be over the moon, but the present tells us the opposite. This is stupid of me to say but, I won’t deny the fact that I miss you so much. I love you, I still do. But somehow, I’ve come to the thought that I can’t do anything anymore, I need to let you go because it’s the right thing to do.

I’ve decided to finally move on and this would be the last time I would try for us with my all because there is nothing left to hold on to and I can’t hold on to something that doesn’t want to be held. Yeah, it does hurt to know you lost interest in me, kind of like someone punching me in the face. And it also does pain me to walk pass you, not knowing what we are. we are fading. Which feels like a knife through my chest. But what truly hurts the most, is that I can’t even find the words to explain it, is that you seemed to distance yourself without a single word. and I keep waiting for a sign or something from you, but I should accept that sometimes, no message is also a message. I’m sorry but this way, we both will be better off. You’ll still always be my speedster even if you don’t want to be in my life after this.