Why Public Speaking Gives Me Anviety
I stand in front of the class, knees locked, and palms sweating. My eyes gazing around the room, blank faces staring back at me. The room is silent. As I am about to speak, my mind goes blank. My thoughts form into a cluster of chaos, I try to reorganize it, and then I speak-but it isn’t the normal English language coming out of my mouth, more of a spew of gibberish, and when I am done, I sense no one understood a single word I said. I dash back to my seat, thanking God it is over. I can never successfully give a speech without the anxiety of getting nervous easily, having to memorize it, and having myself speak in front of an audience.
One defect that keeps me from being calm in speeches is becoming easily nervous. I become nervous about a lot of things. Although, speeches are not the only thing I get nervous about. Science fairs, book reports, or any other tests and school projects can also make me nervous. Over thinking is a factor that may make me nervous. When I over think it results in a nervous body resulting in shaky legs, sweary palms, and a jittery mind.
Another reason public speaking gives me anxiety is the fact that I almost always have to memorize the speech. When I mean “almost” I mean every time. Some teachers will say “Oh just put some notes on index cards for help” or something to that effect. However, I do not think index cards help at all. When I am standing up trying to remember what I am talking about, I slowly look down at my index cards befuddled by the notes I gave myself, making my mind even more flustered.
Memorizing speeches also makes me end up talking at a hyper speed level. Since I would have to memorize my speech, my brain involuntarily makes me talk faster resulting with the audience all puzzled. When learning speech by heart, I have a tendency to want to talk a lot about a subject, resulting in a lot to remember. If I were to just have the whole speech in my hand, it would be easier and far less confusing to give.
The worst and most obvious reason for my anxiety on public speaking is it’s in public. When I talk in front of an audience, I feel awkward. It may be because everyone is listening with blank faces, and not giving me any feedback, I feel as if the audience is asleep or not engrossed in my speech. I also do not like crowds of people. I feel comfortable talking in front of a group of friends, but when it comes to speaking on one certain topic to a bunch of acquaintances or strangers, I feel awkward and pressured by the audience. I already feel stressed in giving my speech to the teacher, but adding strangers into the audience can add more pressure and a higher chance for me to mess up. This is implanted into my brain. No matter how big the audience, I cringe in terror knowing I will have to give a speech in public.
Speeches, skits, oral reports, oral demonstrations, or whatever people want to call it, public speaking will give me anxiety. Anything that deals with my nervous mind, the requirement to memorize its contents, and the obligation of speaking it in front of an audience will give me stress, worries, and anxiety. The anxiety will just bring out a nightmare of standing in front of the class, knees locked, and palms sweating. My eyes gazing around the room, blank faces staring back at me…
