Children

Maureen Gillespie PSY 206 – Dr. Greenp Montgomery County Community College April 15, 2013 Assignment #2 Adolescence is defined as the transition between childhood and adulthood. Many changes happen at this stage. Adolescence involves things such as puberty, greater independence, and a time when someone begins to construct their identity. Identity means their life value and goals including a secure sense of who they are in terms of sexual, vocational, and moral ethics. In the next few paragraphs I will be discussing my Virtual Child, Maeve as she went through adolescence (ages 11- 16).

I am going to delve into the different changes I saw in her and how they relate to theories proposed by Piaget, Erikson, Marcia, and Gardner. Each theory deals with development through adolescence and will help give a better understanding of this time in Maeve’s life. According to Piaget, around age 11 young people enter the formal operational stage. Here they develop the capacity for abstract, systematic, scientific thinking. Whereas concrete operational children can “operate on reality,” formal operational adolescents can “operate on operations. They can come up with new, more general logical rules through reflection, rather than just using concrete things as objects of thought. (p. 301). Formal operational thought invokes verbal reasoning about abstract concepts. Adolescents doing things such as physics are examples of their operating within this stage. Maeve always did well in her math and science grades but, by 10th grade she was very enthusiastic about physics. She even went and entered one of her science projects into a county-wide science fair. Maeve has also taken, and done well, in art since the 7th grade.

At age 14, Maeve’s English class required she submit a poem into a school-wide contest. Maeve’s poem took home first place in the contest, and her work was placed in a state-wide contest. Her work on art and poetry were reflections of her inner feelings and were not just focused on concrete objects. As Maeve grew cognitively through this stage of her adolescence, she also went through a great deal of emotional and social change. These changes were obvious to us as her parents. These changes were signs that she could think logically and scientifically and was trying to put it all together to form her own identity.

Identity is defined as a well-organized conception of the self, consisting of values, beliefs, and goals to which the individual is solidly committed. Erikson was the first to recognize identity as the major personality achievement of adolescence and as a crucial step toward becoming a productive, content adult. (p. 314) Identity is planted in an individual early in life, but it is not until late adolescence and early adulthood that people really take on the task and delve into finding their own identity.

By age 12, Maeve began to argue with us over little things such as clothes, bedtime, and household chores. These weren’t things we usually argued over, in fact we rarely argued at all, but as she changed emotionally, so did our arguments. She would talk frequently about what is and isn’t “fair. ” Her moral development was forming as she started to differentiate her thoughts like this. As Maeve progressed through adolescence, she continued to grow morally and socially, but remained relatively easy going and well-behaved. She did well in school, saved her money, and was involved in after school activities.

By the time she was 16, these actions proved she was responsible, and after practicing with me, she went for her driving test. She was just like any other teenager who wanted to hang out, go shopping, and drive around. But, she still always checked-in with us and was rarely late. She had begun to find her identity through independence and was doing well. Maeve was involved with sports and was looking happily ahead on her path towards college. But, late in 11th grade, Maeve started to change for what could have been the worse.

She had quarrels with girlfriends, engaged in a few senseless pranks, and began to date boys. At one point, as an act of defiance, she ran off with her boyfriend and they both got matching tattoos. During the times when she was feeling down, she wouldn’t talk much, but always knew she could. But, when Maeve was ready to talk, she was confident in herself and what she stood for. While her decisions weren’t always that irresponsible, we still found that we didn’t always agree with her. But for Maeve, she seemed to know she was in a trial and error phase of growing up and had to see what worked for her.

We had to let her develop that. Much like Maeve’s trial and error phase, Erikson’s theory of identity versus role confusion explains psychological conflict of adolescence. This theory states that this conflict is resolved positively when adolescents achieve an identity after a period of exploration and inner soul searching. If a young person’s earlier conflicts were resolved negatively or if society limits their choices to ones that do not match their abilities and desires, they may appear shallow, directionless, and unprepared for the challenges of late adulthood. p. 314). Maeve luckily didn’t make many choices that were resolved negatively. These social and emotional changes weren’t always easy for the rest of the family to deal with, but they were a part of her growth. With us there to provide nurturing support, she was able to develop her own healthy identity after her period of “soul searching. ” Researchers commonly evaluate progress in identity development on two key criteria derived from Erikson’s theory. These two criteria are exploration and commitment. Marcia yielded from this, four “identity statuses. These four statuses are: identity achievement, identity moratorium, identity foreclosure, and identity diffusion. Identity moratorium is exploration without commitment to value, foreclosure is commitment in the absence of exploration, and diffusion is an apathetic state where you don’t commit or explore. The following example shows how Maeve does not fit into either of these categories. As you know from previous examples, Maeve explored many social and behavioral changes in her adolescence. One conversation sits with me the most. I had a conversation once with Maeve after she was off the school bus in about 10th grade.

She described a situation where she had a conversation with a good friend, heard her friend’s values, didn’t agree, and respectfully listened while providing feedback as necessary. She came home to tell me all about her values and how she didn’t openly or rudely oppose her friend just because her friend thought differently than she did. She also didn’t change her own values because of this. This is a perfect example of identity achievement which is defined as a commitment to values, beliefs, and goals, following a period of exploration. Maeve stayed true ith these beliefs, stayed on track with her goals in life, and is all set to go to the college of her dreams, because that is what she values. In looking at adolescence it is important to look at how they develop their intelligence. Howard Gardner developed a theory about various intelligences. He articulated seven criteria for a behavior to be considered intelligence. These were that the intelligences showed: 1. Potential for brain isolation by brain damage, 2. Place in evolutionary history, 3. Presence of core operations, 4. Susceptibility to encoding (symbolic expression), . A distinct developmental progression, 6. The existence of savants, prodigies and other exceptional people, 7. Support from experimental psychology and psychometric findings. Gardner chose eight abilities that he held to meet these criteria: spatial, linguistic, logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and naturalistic. I believe that Maeve’s highest intelligences are logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, and interpersonal. She excels in her school work and is involved in higher level physics than that of her grade level.

She participates in science fairs and enjoys using her mind to solve problems. She has always been a social butterfly and enjoys the outdoors. While she did play an instrument for some time, she didn’t enjoy it and wouldn’t be considered the musical type. While she is coordinated when playing sports, she has more than once ran into the trash cans while backing out of our driveway which would make me say she is not of the spatial intelligence. I also would consider a weaker intelligence for her to be linguistics. While she is intelligent it is not her strongest suit, as she isn’t the most eloquent speaker.

In conclusion, there are many factors that come into play when a child is growing through adolescence. They change emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. All of this is to work towards gaining a sense of self and identity to carry with them through adulthood. By taking the time and letting your child go through these phases with your background support, you are preparing your child to take on their world. References * Berk, L. E. (2010). Exploring lifep development. (2nd ed. ). Illinois: Pearson College Div.

I don’t believe that anyone could read this book and not be disturbed it. It is a poignant and heart wrenching book of one child’s great misery at the hands of his extremely “ill” mother.

The types of abuse that were inflicted upon him were horrific and terrifying to read about, let alone to have suffered through. I had to pause several times in the reading just to take a breath and try to absorb that anyone could have endured such horrors and survived it. It often brought me to tears and shock from the sheer sadness of it. David Pelzer’s writings were clear, concise, and held back no punches.

At times, I felt myself filled with rage at the injustice and cruelty this man bore as a helpless child and the incredulity that it was permitted to go unchecked for so long. It seemed so inconceivable that no one interfered or made any attempt to stop it from family to public officials. This did not happen in the Dark Ages but in the 1970’s in California and in a country which was and is supposed to be a nation of freedom and enlightenment.

How could the system have so totally and miserably failed this child? The “why” of that was still a mystery to me when I had reached the conclusion of the book? The only answer I could come up with was that no one could be bothered until it just finally became so evident that it could no longer be ignored. That, in itself, is almost as dire a tragedy as the misery and pain this child had to feel and live through.

First question: A discussion of how this book impacted you emotionally and cognitively.

The first real reaction I had was to the way the boy felt so unworthy in the beginning chapter of the book. This is a classic sign of child abuse, where it becomes the purpose of the abuser to demean and belittle the abused until they have no self confidence left or any sense of personal dignity. A human being that believes in themselves will fight back and refuse to be submissive.

The mother’s constant spew of criticism was intended for just that purpose so that David would not try to oppose her and would suffer through her abuse without fighting her. It gave her a sense of power over him, ill regardless of the fact that she was an adult and he was a child where the physical odds were against him.

As each stage of the abuse became more violent and degrading as well as life threatening, my shock grew the further I read into the book. At points, it was hard to believe that a mother could be so uncaring of her child. Her coldness and lack of guilt amazed me but David’s mental and emotional fight to preserve his sanity and survival awed me more.

When she broke his arm was horrible but to make him suffer through the night just so she pass it off as a fall off a top bunk and therefore, in her mind, take away any risk that she might be held accountable for it, impressed upon me just what a callous coward she was. Yet that incident seemed to pale in the mockery of the stabbing where she simply bound his wounds and let him heal at home without any medical help.

She knew if she took him to the hospital that there would questions and reactions and she would come under suspicion but in truth, the saddest and most despicable action came from his father when David turned to him for help and the man simply told him to go back and finish the dishes before the mother noticed.

He let his child stand there and bleed on the carpet and did nothing. Why? Because he was afraid of his wife and her mouth! He put his comfort over the safety of his child and that is unbelievable that any loving parent would do that!

I could better understand David’s siblings’ withdrawal out of fear of the mother but the father and the grandmother, both adults, failing to act in David’s defense was almost beyond comprehension.

The malicious way that the mother taught her youngest son to view his older brother was feasible because a child, especially a very young one, reacts to the way they are taught. He was blameless in a way and more so than David’s older brothers. It brought forth the question to my mind as to why “just David” and not the other boys?

Why were they allowed to eat and have privileges and David wasn’t? What was it about David that made his mother single him out as the one to be despised and abused? These were questions that the book never quite answered in my opinion. Of course, the book was written from the first person point of view, which of David and in only being a child, how would he know what caused his mother to turn on him and treat him so abominably?

Second question: A discussion of the instances of where people could have stopped the maltreatment but did not.

This question goes back to the instance of the father in particular. He was the only other adult in the house and it should have fallen on him to stop the abuse when it first began. Despite the fact that his wife hid the abuse from him in the beginning and made David never reveal it to his father, how could he have not noticed? With the mother denying the child food, the boy would have grown thinner and wan with an unusual lack of energy or vibrancy normal to a child David’s age.

The father would have also had to see how the child clung to him when he was home. Then as time progressed and the father did openly admit to what was happening, why did he not stop it? If he had been a truly loving and caring parent, he would have taken immediate action to stop it, no matter how much he cared about his wife.

He simply did not want to “rock the boat”, to use an old adage. He chose to ignore the situation and pretend that it was not happening. David was alone in a world that he was too small to be able to defend himself in.

Alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence within the family setting often results in a serious psychological and social disorder that many now consider a family disease.  Truly, the family is not at ease, and the family relationships are not only disrupted but also disrupting.

Undeniably, each member of the family can be victimized by the disturbing effects of problem drinking on the stability, unity, values, attitudes, and goals of the family unit.

Countless millions of American adults have been exposed to problem-producing family drinking through endangered physical, mental, social, economic, and even spiritual welfare; unhappy and unfulfilling marriages; broken homes resulting from desertion and divorce; impoverishment; and sometimes violence involving both spouse abuse and child abuse.

The family and marital interaction of alcohol-abusing people have become a growing area of research recently.  We now know that evidence linking alcohol abuse and family violence is not simply one of cause and effect.  Indeed, the husband who beats his wife is sometimes a battering father, but alcohol consumption may be coincidental to the circumstances that end with the abuse.

Sometimes the drunken father is the target of violence from the wife and even the children.  To complicate the family situation, violence is often interspersed with periods of calm that mistakenly encourage the victims to believe that the personal abuse will not be repeated and in some instances, alcohol abusers can hold all other family members psychologically hostage to their threats of misbehavior or embarrassment, so that problem drinkers will “get their way” and so non-problem drinkers allow the abuse to continue through their own silence and inaction.

Adults and Children of Alcoholics:

Currently, it is estimated that there are 29 million Americans who may be designated as children of alcoholics (COA) or adult children of alcoholics (ACOA).  Nearly 7 million of them are under 18 years of age, and almost 3 million of this group will likely develop alcoholism, other drug problems, and other serious coping problems.

About half of all ACOAs will likely marry alcoholics and thus at risk of re-creating the same kind of stressful and unhealthy families in which they themselves grew up.   There is no doubt that all children are affected adversely by family alcohol abuse and suffer negative consequences.

The larger proportions of COAs & ACOAs seem to function fairly well and do not develop serious problems during childhood or adulthood.  Many ACOAs & COAs make positive adjustments to their families’ alcoholism and other related-problems (Dunkel, 1994).

Many children of alcoholics, however, are at an extremely high risk for developing alcohol and other drug problems, and often live with overwhelming tension, stress and fears.  Some have high levels of anxiety and depression, others do poorly in school and still others experience problems with coping.

Among the most frequently observed differences in ACOAs and COAs are deficits in mental functioning; in perception, reasoning, intuition, and the process of gaining knowledge.  While these children tend to achieve lower scores, they nevertheless test within normal ranges for intelligence and knowledge of specific academic subjects.

But they often experience school problems, repeat grades, fail to graduate from high school and require referrals to school counselors and psychologists (Wegscheider, 1981).

When COAs and ACOAs were first identified as a special population with unique needs and problems, a standard group of symptoms (the COA and ACOA syndrome) was formulated to describe children and adult children of alcoholics.

The problems and symptoms were toleration of bizarre behavior displayed by parents as normal and acceptable, inability to trust others, difficulty in expressing inner feelings, experience of depression, and increased risk for mental illness.

They tend to have development of guilt feelings for supposedly causing a parent’s alcoholism and have loss of self-esteem and perception of self and family as oddities.  These individuals feel helpless in controlling their selves and life events.

Children even have shown a belief in a magical person who will eventually save the child from harm and there is a development of an inward life focus to escape from the turmoil of the home.

COAs and ACOAs commonly assume one of the following distinctive coping roles within the family; the family hero or junior mom caretaker, who is quite successful both at home and at school; the scapegoat who is something of an angry rebel and often involved unapproved social behavior.

The lost child or angel, who withdraws to the background, never causes trouble, has no opinion, feels unimportant, and isolates himself or herself from others; or the mascot, who manages to defuse explosive and tense situation, often through humor, by focusing attention on himself or herself (Jorgensen & Jorgensen, 1990).

Recent critics of the theory of the COA and ACOA syndrome have contended that many children of nonalcoholic, but strong dysfunctional families such as those marked by sexual or physical abuse and incest, also share some of the characteristics as COAs and ACOAs.  Although the uniqueness of the ACOA and COA syndrome may be abandoned, the pain created within children who grow up in an alcoholic home is still acknowledged as significant and serious.

The revision of this syndrome appears to include the following characteristics; A greater likelihood of becoming an alcohol or other drug abuser; a strong disposition toward having psychiatric symptoms as an adult; a moderately significant increase risk for marital problems; more impulsive behavior as a child as well as delayed language development, fine motor coordination and sociability; and a higher incident of cognitive disorders.

Although most COAs and ACOAs have few common psychological factors that distinguish them from other children who experienced a disadvantaged childhood, one researcher has found that disproportionate number of children born to alcoholic or drug addicted parents have abnormal brainwave patterns.  Such differences appear to correlate strongly with certain behavioral characteristics, including impulsivity, social deviance, and lower IQ (Dunkel, 1974).

The Recovery:

Family therapy is a form of psychotherapy based on the proposition that disturbed relationships among various family members may have contributed to or resulted from the destructive drinking of one family member.  This form of treatment emphasizes family interaction factors, in addition to individual problems of the alcohol abuser, and proposes changes in the communication patterns of family members.

All family members are treated as a unit, rather than isolating the alcoholic and treating that person apart from their family.  Behavioral therapy is a general form of psychotherapy that is based on the application of human learning theories in a clinical setting.  Behavioral therapists emphasize changing the coping patterns of the alcohol-dependent individuals rather than changing the underlying causes of self-destructive alcohol abuse.

Some behavioral therapies focus on assertiveness training and improving communications skills and problem solving methods.  Such treatment emphasizes that drug dependent people can gain control over their own actions, reaffirm the value of sobriety, and eventually overpower alcohol.  This basic belief stands in sharp contrast with the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous, which emphasizes personal powerlessness over alcohol (Schuckit, 2006).

Alcoholics Anonymous is one of the most successful approaches in recovery from Alcoholism.  Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a fellowship of problem drinkers who want to help in maintaining sobriety.  Voluntary membership involves an emotional commitment that the alcoholic is powerless over the control of alcohol and that only a power greater than the self can restore soundness of mind.

The famous “Twelve Steps” of AA express the philosophy and recovery process of this international association.  Offering hope of recovery from alcoholism is an essential feature of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Such hope is provided by both example and supportive interrelationships with other members of this self help fellowship.  Each person is expected to become involved with the Twelve Steps of AA, an ongoing process referred to as “working the program”.

The Twelve Traditions of AA are the operational principles of the fellowship and express the importance and significance of the group in relationship to its membership, nonmembers, and society in general.  At present, Alcoholics Anonymous has an estimated membership in excess of 1.5 million people in 114 countries around the world.

Despite its evident spiritual orientation, AA continues to thrive, based on singleness of purpose, group autonomy, self-supporting financial operation, maintenance of non-professional status, noninvolvement in public controversy, and personal anonymity.  Patterned closely after AA are the AlAnon family groups for spouses and friends of recovered and recovering alcoholics and Alateen groups for children of alcoholics (Ammermann, Ott & Tarter, 1999).

Summary:

Alcohol abuse is everyone’s problem.  Whether nonuser, moderate or social drinker, or alcoholic, everyone is directly or indirectly affected by alcohol abuse.  Whether alcoholism is perceived as a personal threat or not and whether drinking is viewed as good or bad, the most important thing to remember is that ethyl alcohol is a drug with the potential for adverse drug effects even when used in social settings.

Social drinking is usually moderate, but the limits of appropriateness are likely to vary from one drinker or drinking group to another.  Consequently, promoting so-called responsible drinking behavior may be less than adequate as a method of reducing alcohol problems and alcohol abuse.

In a similar manner, urging drinkers to “party sensibly” or “know your limits” may sound like good advice, but these recommendations have been criticized as lacking in specificity and dealing with glittering generalities that cannot be applied easily.

Problem drinking refers to alcohol consumption that will result in damage to the drinker, the drinker’s family, or the drinker’s community.  Problem drinkers include not only alcohol-dependent individuals and long-time alcohol abusers, but also moderate and light drinkers who drive after excessive drinking and cause accidents.

Problem drinking is a form of substance abuse as well as a consequence of substance abuse.  Use of alcohol continues despite a persistent social, occupational, psychological or physical problem related to such consumption.  Problem drinking is also a form of substance abuse because alcohol intake recurs when such use is dangerous to oneself or to others or both.

Reference:

Ammermann, R. T., Ott, P.J., & Tarter, R.E. (1999).  Prevention and societal impact of   drug and alcohol abuse [computer file].  New Jersey: Erlbaum Associates.

Dunkel, T. (1994).  Dealing with demons of a new generation.  In Annual Editions:        Drugs, Society and Human Behavior 94/95, p. 128-130. Guilford, Conn.:         Dushkin.

Jorgensen, D. & Jorgensen, J. (1990).  Secrets told by children of Alcoholics.  Blue Ridge            Summit, Pa.: Tab Books.

Schuckit, M. A. (2006).  Drug and Alcohol Abuse a Clinical guide to diagnosis and        treatment.  New York: Springer.

Wegscheider, S. (1981).  Another chance: Hope and Health for the alcoholic family.       California: Science and Behavior Books.

The book “A Child Called It” by author Dave Pelzer quickly became for many reasons but the most important was because it taught me that sometimes people don’t appreciate the wonderful things they have in life, until it’s too late.

Reading is a huge part of my everyday life and has given me many hours of enjoyment. I read to gain information, for relaxation and entertainment, like reading the daily newspaper allows me to find out what is happening around the world, in other countries and in our local area, allows me to relax and offers a few laughs.

I love finding new and interesting books to read, so one day when I asked my sister for suggestions in finding a book to read, she told me to read “A Child Called ‘It’” by author, David Pelzer.

I read in this book, about one of the worst cases of child abuse, ever reported in the state of California, which has been documented by the child, in this book.

David Pelzer provides a very detailed outline of his terrible life after growing up as a son of an alcoholic mother and a father, who stood by and watched the abuse.

The story takes a circular trip around the many years of abuse of the boy. He begins by telling us what ended the torment and pain, and continues through the pages, telling us about the haunting years that followed.

In one section of the book, Pelzer speaks of the unthinkable horror his mother put him through by explaining that when he was younger, Dave and his family were considered the “perfect” family but one day his mother and father began drinking and developed problems in their relationship.

Dave began experiencing the worst treatment, imaginable. His mother quickly began  treating him as a nobody or an “It”. His dad wouldn’t address the problems that reeked havoc in his life, which caused Dave to hate him.

Dave’s mother did many horrible things to him that he will never forget. He was singled out for abuse by his mother, since he had two brothers that never received their mother’s harsh beatings and cruelty.

David’s mother would starve him for weeks at a time, without giving him even a morsel of food, so he had to steal food from stores and the school, in order to survive.   One day he stole hot dogs from the school cafeteria and someone caught him. When he got home his mother made him puke it up and then eat it, again. She was so cruel that she almost went to the extent of making David eat his baby brother’s feces.

Another incident occurred  when David was cleaning the kitchen floor for his mother. She suddenly stormed into the kitchen and started yelling at him, “You’ve made my life a living hell! Now it’s time I show you what hell is like!”

She took him by the arm, turned on the gas stove, and burned the flesh right off his arm. She proceeded to make him take off his clothes and lay on top of the flames.

She tortured him for no other reason, other than her own sick pleasure. She also made him drink ammonia, wear tattered clothes and sleep in the garage. She even had the nerve to stab David and never took him in for medical help.

Not only was David banned from the family, but from the public, as well. Pelzer was granted only one change of clothing a year, which he wore daily, to school.

He was unable to bathe and was often viewed  as a disgrace, by neighbors and school officials. This touching story ended with David reciting the “Lord’s Prayer” and praying for God to save him from his life of abuse.

Finally, a caring policeman shows up and frees David from the prison he has endured for too many years.

The sequel to this book is called “The Lost Boy.” This story offers detailed claims of the horrible abuse that David’s mother had inflicted upon him but nothing can help you to understand why someone could cause such terrible pain for their own child, especially when the other two brothers are treated with respect.

We learn in this book about the struggle for survival, after David’s mother tries to turn everyone against him. She became successful at convincing everyone around David and since they believe that she is a good mother, no one believes him when he cries for help and each attempt at receiving help, he fails.

It’s really sad to know that David’s dad never tried to help him and to watch as his dad is terribly controlled by the woman, who abuses him.

This intense child abuse seems unbearable, especially for a young child. David’s story about survival, brings a queasy feeling to one’s stomach and stabs at the heart. Pelzer dedicated his life to pleasing his mother, fearing death that come to him, at any moment. His never ending hope kept gave him just enough strength to recover from the last painful fight.

Pelzer had lived in, what looked like from the outside world, an average American family, who took vacations, ate dinner as a family and spent the holidays together, with the one exception of `The Boy` that was continually beaten down, both mentally and physically.